myself – Page 11 – that lemon life

Why Endgame broke me

Hola everyone.

Yes, the day has finally come. I am here and I’m finally going to talk about Endgame. I know, it really took me long enough, but those of you who have seen it and have followed my blog for a while will know exactly why. I needed time to recover. But now I’m ready to let all my thoughts and emotions spill. Just a quick note at the beginning: No, I don’t think that Avengers: Endgame is the best Marvel movie ever, but before you start shouting at me, please first let me tell you why I think this way. Naturally, this means that the following paragraphs will contain a freaking HUGE amount of spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet – first of all, what are you even doing, and secondly, well freaking done not getting spoiled until now – please stop reading now. Trust me, it will definitely ruin the experience of the movie. Go and see it at the cinema (preferably in IMAX) and just enjoy the movie. Seriously.

So, for one last time…

HUGE AMOUNT OF SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAME COMING YOUR WAY

Before I actually start discussing the movie, let me quickly explain why this movie, from the day I knew it would be coming, meant so much to me. In 2009 I was sat in front of my tv at home, flicking through the channels and ended up on one particular scene, showing a guy dressed in a metal suit, flying around in the air. I decided to keep watching it and in that very moment, I started off a journey into a completely different, wonderfully fascinating universe that would continue being by my side for the next 10 years. I didn’t know it then, but the strange guy, who, back then, was a bit too full of himself, although I still thought he looked cool in the golden and red suit, would soon become my all-time favourite fictional character and my ultimate hero (besides my mum, but we’re talking about fictional stuff). I soon went from calling him Iron Man to referring to him as Tony. My Tony. I remember writing down a list of all the upcoming highlights of 2013 and proudly putting the release of Iron Man 3 right up there. That’s how much I loved the movies. And not just Tony, but also all the others (we don’t talk about Thor 1 & 2). Doctor Strange blew my mind with all its endless colours and realities, while Thor: Ragnarok had me shed tears of laughter. Civil War had me broken for the one character I loved the most, while Spiderman combined my two favourite heroes (Tony and Peter) and made me fall in love with the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman all over again. And then came Infinity War. The one movie that still is, even after Endgame, the single best movie, no, the single best cinematic experience, I’ve ever had and seen in my entire life. It is and will always be pure perfection. At least for me. No other movie has ever made my feel such a complex mix of emotions within the duration of two and a half hours. And that’s the most important part when it comes to the MCU – it makes me feel things. Over the course of those 10 years, I’ve gotten attached to certain characters, fought discussions for them, had them guide me on my own path in life. Marvel has become a part of my life, a part of me.

And this is why Endgame was so important to me. And also why it hurt so much. I went into the cinema, thinking that I would be walking out as the same person I walked in. But no. Endgame did something to me no other movie or tv show, basically anything fictional, has ever done to me. It broke me. And here’s why.

They killed him.

They really made my most feared scenario become reality and killed off the one character I loved the most. They killed Tony. My Tony. The one character that has been with me for the past ten years and now he’s just gone and I don’t know what to do. Honestly, I swear, if I hadn’t been crying so much, it would have been quiet enough in the cinema to literally hear my heart burst into a million pieces. I felt like someone had just ripped out my heart, set it on fire, jumped on it, torn it into pieces and then thrown these pieces down a cliff, just to scrape them off the ground and give them back to me with an evil grin on their face. Leni, who I watched the movie with, later told me that she could actually hear me whisper “please no. please no. I don’t want to see this. I don’t want to see this.” over and over again. I was literally begging for his life, although I knew I couldn’t do anything. I wish I could have.

I don’t know how long I cried for. I mean, I started to tear up as soon as we saw Clint’s family turn to dust, and Nat sacrificing herself for the soul stone had me in ugly tears as well, but that was nothing compared to my state when Tony died. I actually don’t remember most of the movie after that moment, I just know that when everyone had left the room and I was finally able to get up, I went to the toilet, locked myself in and started to cry again. I just couldn’t help myself. But there was this nice moment that happened as I was sitting there, bawling my eyes out. I could hear someone next to me crying as well and at that moment I didn’t feel alone anymore. I knew I wasn’t the only one going through this and that helped.

It took me about three weeks to fully recover and to go through all the stages of grief. Which I really did go through, I’m not even kidding. First came the shock, the obvious stage. And as soon as we got out of the cinema, I said: “I’ve never seen that movie, that never happened, Tony is still alive, Marvel can f* off.” Yep, that right there is denial in it’s most perfect form. And the rest was just a few cries, mixed with A LOT of anger, that’s still lurking around in the back of my head, topped with a few bits and bops of hope. But I think I’ve got it now. I mean, I still cried yesterday when RDJ posted his goodbye video of his last day on set on Instagram, but besides that I’m fine. I think.

To be honest, if I didn’t love Tony that much, I think I would actually be fine with his ending. But you never want someone you love to die, do you? But I get it. He’s the hero. He’s always been the hero. And he could have never fully settled down if he didn’t know that the world was a 1000000000 % safe. That’s just who he is. So, I get it. And I’m proud to be a fan of the best one. I recently read an interview in which Joe Russo answered the question of why it had to be Tony. Why he had to be the one to defeat Thanos. Here’s what he said: “Stark is the most formidable of all of them. Because of his heart.” I can’t even begin to describe how much that sentence means to me. I think that’s also why I partly love Endgame. It’s a homage to Tony. He was the one to start it all. He was the one to make it all happen. They would have never been able to even go back in time and get the stones without having him figure out time travel in the first place. It’s always been him. He has always been and will always be the best of all of them and Endgame proved that.

I’m just not quite sure if I wouldn’t have liked him to just be a mediocre hero who actually got to survive. But then it wouldn’t be Tony, I guess. His arc is the defining arc of the MCU and his story has always been the core of it all. He’s the heart of the MCU and I honestly have no idea what they’re going to do without him now. I mean, I’ve slightly got my hopes up for Far From Home and a Tony A.I., but after watching that video that Robert posted, I’m not so convinced anymore. I guess I just need to accept that I won’t see this man in that role ever again and that’s actually the hardest step of all of them.

So, that’s that about Tony and how Endgame broke my heart. But, honestly, that’s not why I’m just not such a big fan of the movie. Don’t get me wrong, the movie had some of the best moments in cinematic history, and scenes I deeply loved. It basically gave me everything I was hoping for and then crushed it all in front of my eyes. But still, it had so many good parts. I loved seeing Tony interact with Nebula, who, in my opinion, is one of the best characters of the whole movie. The scene when Tony finally gets back to earth and then goes up against Cap in that amazing monologue is one of the most empowering scenes ever. I wanted to scream at that part, no joke. I’ve always wanted Tony to call Cap out on his mistakes and he finally did it and it made me feel so alive. Because Cap just had to stand there and endure it. And he deserved it. Also, it was one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen from Robert and if the Academy doesn’t nominate him for an Oscar I’ll be knocking on their door very very soon.

I loved seeing Tony with his young daughter Morgan, who, I’m not going to lie, is the cutest kid ever. And I was so happy to finally see him get what he always wanted – a family. I might just have to add now that I’m still furious with the Russos and the writers McFeely and Markus for saying that giving Tony five years of perfect retirement life was enough, but I’ve been angry about that for long enough now. I’d rather focus on the fact that these were the cutest scenes of the whole movie and the fact that the “I love you 3000” line actually comes from Robert himself because his own kids say that to him, which nearly brings my heart to a burst. Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?

Also, finally putting Pepper into a suit was definitely one of the best decisions they could make. Again, this all happened thanks to Robert, who told the directors that Pepper needed to become a more important character, which again proves that the MCU would never be what it is now without this amazing actor and his love for this franchise. I can just repeat myself – I really don’t know what they’re going to do without him now.

Besides that, despite what most people say, it made total sense to me that Nat had to sacrifice herself. She would never be the one to watch her best friend kill himself for her, so I always knew it would be her. And I liked how they made the scene turn out, them fighting over the sacrifice, it made it all that bit more dramatic. I have to admit that I like the idea of her sacrificing herself in order to prove how much she loves her Avengers family more than the thought of the writers of how Clint had to stay alive because he had a family. What a dumb thing to say. They killed Tony, who also had family, so what do they even mean?

And I liked that Clint got to be in the bigger picture again, as I’ve always really enjoyed the character. I still don’t quite get why they had to show him kill some Asian guys as Ronin, but oh well. I don’t know if they will show him in future movies, but I would be quite happy if they did.

So far about the characters I did like. Now, let’s talk about the most epic part – the end fight. Holy moly. Leni and I watched the movie in IMAX, so, without exaggerating, I was sitting there, watching that part, and I had no idea where to look. There was just so much going on. First, the holy trinity (Tony, Cap and Thor) fighting Thanos. Clint running away from the Chitauri with the gauntlet in his hand. Then Cap fighting Thanos on his own and suddenly being able to wield Mjølnir. And then him suddenly hearing “on your left”, said by Falcon, and seeing all the portals open up around him and all the dusted characters being alive again and coming to help them fight Thanos. Pepper becoming Rescue and fighting Thanos’ army alongside Tony. Tony hugging Peter after he finally came back and uttering “hold me, kid, hold me”. All the female characters teaming up to beat Thanos. Wanda basically being the baddest of them all and saying “you took everything from me” to Thanos – which also kind of describes how I’m feeling about Endgame, to be honest. Just the overall fight and being able to watch all of these different characters fighting alongside each other blew my mind. Definitely one of the best scenes I’ve ever been able to experience.

Overall, the production of this movie is out of this world. The dynamics, the colours, the cinematography. All the people working in the CGI apartment for Marvel should receive an award for this because they sure outdid themselves with this one. Apart from that, I absolutely love the score – a big thank you to Alan Silvestri for that one. And last but not least, the actors. RDJ (obviously), Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Karen Gillan, Tom Holland (who always receives the script the day they are shooting and basically improvises nearly every single scene), Josh Brolin, just to name a few. All of them brought their A-game to this movie and I’m still stunned by that. They deserve all the recognition they get and I’m so glad we got to see all of these amazing actors together in one movie. Also, let’s not forget the fantastic stunt doubles who did an incredible job as well. Basically, the whole movie is a compilation of amazing people doing their best.

But, as I stated at the beginning, the movie, for me, is far from being perfect. I have to admit that I had indeed set the bar very high. Infinity War had, actually. I wanted Endgame to be perfect, maybe even more than that, and, unfortunately, it couldn’t live up to that. Which would be fine, if it didn’t have obvious issues. First of all, and some people might not agree with me on that one, I hated what they did with Thor and Hulk. Thor: Ragnarok is one of the best Marvel movies ever and it made me fall in love with the two characters, whereas Endgame made a joke out of both of them. I know that Thor had to be the one character to prove that he indeed suffers, but making him fat just for laughs was cheap (the filmmakers indeed admitted that it was meant to be a joke). And what happened to Hulk? Why did he have to dab? The more they showed him, the more I started to lose respect and it made me feel so bad because I honestly love Bruce. I read a theory that Hulk could become Hulk again through his pain after hearing that Nat had died and I honestly would have loved that take so much more.

On the other hand, I would have also liked the ending to be a bit different. Not different as in an alternate ending – although I would do nearly anything to have Tony back. I would have just liked the movie to end on another note. Personally, I always knew that Cap would go back in time and stay there with Peggy. I even betted on that with Leni. I just knew. But I didn’t want it to be the last scene of the movie. Because it left me with a feeling that we had all just watched another Captain America movie and not an Avengers one. It shouldn’t have been just him with Peggy. The funeral should have been the end. Because it was the scene where all of them were together (slight note: did you all see Harley? I’m so happy to have him back). It would have given us the sense of togetherness and how the movie was about THEM and not just Cap and his lovey-dovey ending (frankly, I’m a bit bitter about that) (also, I won’t talk about the time travel aspect, because it still is a plot hole, but oh well). That should have been the post-credit scene and at the very end, before the lights turned on, we should have heard the sound of Tony making his very first suit in that cave from a bunch of scraps. That would have been the perfect ending for me (besides having Tony live – and no, I’ll never stop complaining about that).

And lastly, I also have to say that I have a slight problem with the overall story. I know that the movie was meant to be a celebration of the past ten years, which is why they had us relive Avengers again and Thor 2 and the first Guardians movie. And I loved that, I really did. But after much deliberation, I think it was kind of lazy as well. It relied way too much on the concept of fan service. And of course I am a huge fan of fan service, because, you guessed it, I am indeed a fan. But at the end of the day, I am an even bigger fan of innovation. Having us watch the battle of New York again and giving us a glance behind the scenes is fan service. Putting Doctor Strange, Spidey and Tony in one ship and having them collide with the Guardians on a planet called Titan, which none of them has ever been on, is innovation. And that’s where Endgame is different. It lacks innovation. Of course, it was nice to relive the past 22 movies, but I would have loved to see something new. Something I would remember for the rest of my life (besides the end fight and losing Tony).

So yeah, guys, there you go. That’s my take on Avengers: Endgame. I’m pretty sure I forgot to include a bunch of other scenes, but I think I managed to discuss my personal most important aspects. I’m sure you all have your own takes on the movie and I’m even more sure that some of you won’t agree with me at all. But maybe some of you will. Either way, I would love to hear your opinions, so please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. I’m always open to a nice discussion.

In the end, I just have to say, that despite my feelings about the movie, I am incredibly happy to be able to experience something like this. 11 years ago absolutely nobody would have dared to dream about something like this and now we are here. A moment in time where a superhero movie could become the biggest movie of all time. How incredible is that? And personally, I’m incredibly grateful that I got to spend my time growing up with the one and only Robert Downey Jr. accompanying me on my path as the one and only Tony Stark. After losing him, I suddenly noticed how much this character really means to me and I’ll be forever grateful for being able to go on this journey with him. He’s the character I could always identify myself with the most – despite not being a billionaire and a genius myself (I wish). He was always the most relatable one. The one who wasn’t born or made a superhero, the one who wasn’t trained or calls himself a god. He’s just a human being, but the smartest one I know, with the biggest heart. And that’s why I’ve always loved him. And despite how much the movie has hurt me, I still love Marvel with all of my heart. 3000.

And I love you guys as well. If you’ve made it until here, thanks so much for reading all of my thoughts, you’re amazing. I dearly hope you enjoyed them. And, as always, I wish you a lovely weekend and thanks for reading. x

By the Shore

Hola everyone.

How are we all doing? I hope you’ve all had a good week so far. On my behalf, I’m currently spending a few nice days with my mum here in Brighton and visiting the Great Escape festival, which I’m honestly so excited about. I can’t believe I’ll really be seeing HalfNoise and The Jungle Giants. Who would have thought that I’d ever be able to experience them live? Certainly not me. Which makes all of this even crazier.

But now, let’s jump to today’s topic… as some of you might know, my best friend Leni recently visited me as well, which I was and still am so damn happy about. And it was actually kind of freaky too, thinking that we’ll both move to London together in a few months. Among all the awesome stuff we did during the time she was here, we went on this one special trip to the Brighton Marina, where we went on a little walk next to the sea and the cliffs, which was absolutely stunning. I had never been to such a place before, so obviously I had to take my camera with me to snap a few pictures, which is actually the purpose of this post. Because today, I’d like to share my favourite snaps of that day with you. As always, I hope you enjoy them and please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. And until then I wish you all a great weekend and thanks for reading. x

The night of songs and roses

Hola everyone.

And welcome back to another week. Happy Monday – and also Happy Easter, actually. I hope you all had a lovely weekend. I spent most of it down at the beach here in Brighton as the weather has been so incredibly nice the past few days. I’m not doing to lie, I felt like I was on a holiday, lying there, in the sun, my lunch propped next to me. It’s crazy when you realize that you actually live in such a place. I feel incredibly grateful. Especially when I went for a walk in the evening, walking barefoot, feeling the sea water between my toes and the sun setting in front of me. Talk about feeling like you’re stuck in some movie scene. So, yeah, that was my weekend.

But let’s talk about today. Today I’d like to share a very very special evening of my life with all of you. One that I honestly never thought would happen and one that I will definitely never ever forget. The evening I met Tom Rosenthal and saw him live for the very first time. Still sounds absolutely crazy when I say it out loud, to be honest.

It all began last year when Tom suddenly announced the show in London. His very first show ever, like ever ever, to be exact. I couldn’t believe my eyes. But that happens when you listen to a guy who has two young daughters and an info on his official website saying that he’s not planning on going on tour because of them. So out of all the artists and bands I listen to, I wanted to see Tom live the most and was expecting to actually ever get to see him live the least. But there it suddenly was, the date of his first ever show, perfectly scheduled for me as I knew I’d be in Brighton/London around that time. And I mean, I don’t have to make a big story out of it, of course, I bought a ticket the second they were available. And of course, it was sold out within an hour. And of course, Tom had to add another two shows. And guess who’s in the middle of a full-on tour right now? Still can’t believe it, honestly.

For those of you who don’t know who Tom is, here’s why I love him so much in a nutshell: I adore his music with all my heart, listen to it 24/7, he has basically helped me through my whole Bachelor degree and has been my most listened artists for two consecutive years and counting. So, yes, I love him and his music a lot.

And on the 15th of March, it was finally time for me to make my way to London to see him. Obviously, I was very very nervous and uber-excited, but not just because of the concert. Before writing this post, I was debating on whether I should tell you this or not, but it’s just such an important moment in my life, I have to share it. I didn’t drive to London just to attend Tom’s show, I also went there to meet him beforehand and do an interview with him. There, I said it. Yes, guys, it really happened. I really had an interview with the one and only Tom Rosenthal and I still can’t wrap my head around it. And I still feel incredibly honoured and grateful that he agreed to chat with me. I’m obviously not going to make a big story out of it, that’s not who I am. I just want to say that he was incredibly nice and absolutely lovely and I felt so welcome around him, so yeah. Definitely something I will never ever forget. Thanks so much, Tom, for everything. Also, as I did the interview for my uni magazine, I’ll try and post the link of the published article on here as soon as it’s out, so stay tuned for that.

So, after that incredibly unreal interview had happened, I went to get dinner in London and went straight back to the venue – which was a literal church (St. Pancras Old Church) and also the most beautiful place ever. Obviously, the room was already packed, which just proved my point that the world had only been waiting for Tom to finally come out of his shell and do a few shows. He told me that he actually doesn’t want to get big, but I don’t think there’s anything he can do about that. It will just happen, naturally. Because everybody loves him and his music. That’s just how it is. Which was also something you could actually feel in the room as soon as Tom and his lovely band came on stage and started to play. God, it was just such an incredible gig. Tom even sounds better live than on his studio versions, which didn’t surprise me at all. He’s just that talented. And he was so funny, holy moly. Cracking one joke after another. Even though it was his third ever show, he already had the whole stage presence thing nailed down. And I was standing there, watching him and taking it all in, soaking up the beauty of the moment. I think throughout those two hours, I didn’t stop smiling, even when I was crying and silent tears were rolling down my cheeks. Happy, emotional tears, of course. It was just such a beautiful gig, honestly. A small church, about 70 people, Tom’s incredible band and his angelic voice. Nothing can compare.

I remember that I went home, completely mesmerized by what had happened in the past few hours. And I still can’t fully believe that it all happened. I can’t even begin to describe the feeling of gratitude and happiness and incredible luck I feel whenever I think about it. And I hope by reading this post, I could translate some of those feelings over to you as well. As I mentioned before, Tom is currently on tour, so I can just highly recommend attending his shows and experiencing this magic live – here’s a link to his website, where you can find his tour dates. And until then I hope you enjoyed this post. As always, please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. And, of course, I wish you all an amazing week. Oh, and just as a short info – I won’t be posting anything until next Friday, as Leni will be visiting me here in Brighton this Thursday until next Monday. We’ll be watching Endgame on Friday and, honestly, if I could put into words how excited and also frightened we both are, I would, but I can’t. So yeah, I’ll see you next Friday, obviously with a whole post about Endgame. What else. And until then, thanks for reading, guys. x

Home

Hola everyone.

And welcome to back to another week. I hope you’ve all had an amazing, relaxing and/or exciting weekend and that you’re doing good. As most of you, who have been following my blog, will know, I’ve recently been at home for a short break – hence the absence of posts – and have now been back in Brighton since last week. And as I just went through my camera roll of those three wonderful weeks I got to spend at home and loved the pictures I flicked through so much, I thought it would be nice to share those special moments with you guys.

Some pictures were taken with my camera, some with my phone. Some were taken during my birthday trip to a local chocolate factory (best day ever), some capture calm moments like lying on the couch with Peaches. Moments that I actually miss the most when I’m here in Brighton. It’s the normality, the ordinary I miss. Eating dinner with my parents. As said, lying on the couch with my baby Peaches. Playing cards with my parents. Going on a walk with Molly. It’s only when you can’t access these moments at any time you want, you start to cherish them the most. Because in the end, they are what matters the most. So, here they are. Moments that matter the most to me and moments that feel like home. I hope you enjoy them.

As always, I hope you’re all doing good and wish you a great week. Oh, and please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. And, of course, thanks so much for reading. x

New Music Friday

Hola everyone.

And welcome back to my blog – after quite some time, I might say. I’ve missed you guys, honestly. But on the other side, can you believe it’s already been over three weeks since my last post? And five days since I came back to Brighton from my break? I for sure can’t. Time is honestly flying by in full speed, it’s totally crazy. But I’m not here to moan about time and you surely aren’t here to listen to me doing that, so I’ll stop it right now. Today, we’ve all gathered together to not only celebrate this blog finally blooming again but also to have a little party. And guess what, I brought the music. I know, I know. I’m just that thoughtful. And there did happen quite a lot in the music scene while I was at home on my break, so right behind me, in a metaphorical way speaking, there’s a pretty big pile of music that’s just waiting to be shared and listened to. So, let’s get going, shall we?

Kitchen Sink – Twenty One Pilots

It probably won’t surprise you that this list starts off by the one and only Twenty One Pilots. But this time it’s not one of their newer tracks, but a really old one, from their album ‘Regional at Best’ from the year 2011. I recently re-discovered the lp and basically totally fell in love with it all over again. And ‘Kitchen Sink’ for me is the one song of the album that stands out the most. Just the overall meaning and all the work that went into it never fails to blow my mind. Even more so, because you can actually hear Tyler’s raw emotions. Such a masterpiece.

Stressed Out – Twenty One Pilots

Well, what can I say? There can never be enough Twenty One Pilots, can there? I recently found this live version of ‘Stressed Out’ on YouTube and after first being completely shocked that it only has about 5.000 views, I was even more shocked as soon as I started listening to it. I think apart from when I heard ‘Bandito’ and the ‘Sahlo Folina’ chorus for the first time, I was never so in love with Tyler’s voice. This is definitely the most beautiful version of the song that I’ve ever heard.

SOS – Avicii ft. Aloe Blacc

When I heard that Tim’s team and friends would be releasing the tracks he was working on before his passing, I felt my stomach drop. As most of you will probably know, Tim’s music was a big part of me growing up and my musical journey, but I wasn’t really expecting to hear any new songs. But here it is, the new single he worked on, together with Bonn and Albin Nedler and Aloe Blacc. Needless to say, I had a few tears rolling down my cheeks while listening to it for the first time. Such a beautiful track. I wish Tim was still here to share it with us himself.

Talk – Two Door Cinema Club

Oh how long I’ve been waiting to finally be able to say that TDCC have released new music. I’ve missed these guys so much. And I’m honestly so happy that they are back again. I may still be clinging onto their indie rock kind of sound from 2013, but I can’t deny that it’s simply impossible for me to not enjoy their newer sound as well. I really can’t wait to listen to their full album.

Curls – Bibio

This is one of those songs that I usually listen to while writing or cooking. Or if I’m feeling a bit over-emotional on a car ride. Which happens quite often, to be fair. And I know I’m usually sticking to indie, but it’s nice to listen to something like this once in a while.

Only Friend – Wallows

Holy moly, this freaking song. I can’t even begin to tell you how long I’ve been waiting for their debut album ‘Nothing Happens’. I remember lying in my garden at home and starting to listen to it and then it kicked off with this song and I couldn’t believe it. I’m planning on doing a whole post on the album in the next few weeks, but I just had to include this song in the list. It’s just too good. Pure indie goodness.

Good Excuse – The King’s Parade

This is another very new track I just recently stumbled over. And I can’t really tell why, but it kind of reminds me of a mix between Lewis Capaldi and OneRepublic. As if you had put both of these in a box and shaken it really good. Which is a good thing, to be honest, because they are both absolutely amazing. Just like this song right here.

So Now What – The Sins

If any of you guys have ever seen the movie ‘Wish I Was Here’ by Zach Braff, then you’ll probably know why this song is part of this list and where I’m coming from. It’s just another one of those tracks that will always be good. For all eternity.

Who Could You Be – HalfNoise

Most of you guys will probably already know about my deep love for HalfNoise, aka Zach Farro, aka the guy most people in the world will know as the drummer from the uber-amazing band Paramore. But guess what, Zach is also doing his own thing and I can’t get enough of it. He’s got the whole indie deal nailed down, no joke.

Mountain – HalfNoise

Long time no see, ha? No, but for real, I had to include a second song by Zach, I just had to. That may also be because I recently found out that he will be playing at the Great Escape festival here in Brighton and I honestly can’t even begin to tell you how utterly excited I am.

Sin – Kakkmaddafakka

Such a weird band name. And maybe an even weirder band. And I know what I’m talking about because I just got to see them live last week. I’m not going to lie, it was such a cool party, oh my god. And they are even better live than on the studio versions. The room was nearly bursting with energy.

HELP – AREA21

It wouldn’t be a ‘New Music Friday’ list if Marty wasn’t mentioned in any possible way, would it? So, here we have him, together with his friend Maejor. I’m usually not the biggest fan of rap and RnB, but what those two have created with Area21 is just incredible. Also, the meaning of this song right here is so good and important, I was shocked when I first listened to it. I’m really happy to see Marty address some current issues. Way to go.

Style – Foster The People

When will these guys finally go on tour, so I can finally see them live? They are right up on my list of bands I still need to see and, to be honest, amazing songs like this one don’t really make it any easier for me. But I’m not complaining in any way, please give us more. More more more of this.

You Might Find Yours – Tom Rosenthal

And last but not least we have the ultimate king of ‘New Music Fridays’ – the one and only Tom Rosenthal. This time shaking us all up with a spoken word song, that might hit a bit too close to home. Spot on, as always. But we wouldn’t expect anything less from this musical genius, would we?

So, there you go, guys. Here’s another New Music Friday and another big big big celebration of music. I can just repeat myself – I’m honestly so happy and feel so honoured that I get to share all of these fantastic tracks and my obsession with them with all of you. It really means the world to me. As always, I hope you enjoy them just as much as I do. Please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. And, of course, I wish you all a nice weekend and thanks for reading. x

I’m a Bandito //-// Part 2

Hola everyone.

And welcome back to my blog and the second part of this post. Or shall we call it a series? I’ll let you decide. Anyway, I hope you’re all doing good and that you had an amazing weekend. And not to be dramatic or anything, but I honestly can’t wait to tell you all about the second night I got to spend with Ty and Josh, aka Twenty One Pilots, aka one of the best bands ever (here’s all about the first night, if you’d like to check that out first – click me). So, without further ado, let’s get right into it.

Night: Number 2

Okay, so first of all, I probably need to tell you that going to this show was both one of the most spontaneous and also best decisions I’ve ever made in my entire life. I mean, I honestly wasn’t planning on going to the next night until the first one ended. I was literally so awestruck that I just had to see them again. I had to. There just wasn’t any way around it. So, when I got home from the first show, I immediately started looking for a ticket for the next show. I also deliberately looked for standing tickets, as for the first show I had bought seating ones, but as I now knew how the whole show would work, I knew I had to get standing tickets and try to get as close to the b-stage as possible. I knew which way Josh would be running during the crowd and I knew that they would be playing both Bandito and Neon Gravestones on the b-stage – two of my favourite songs – so yeah, it was pretty clear to me what I had to do. I had a plan.

And again, this is the moment I need to thank Graham, the guy who sold me the ticket. It was honestly the easiest and most chilled process ever and I’m so glad it all went down the way it did. I couldn’t have wished for a better overall experience.

So, on the next day (Saturday), I got up, had some lunch, then took the train to London and headed straight to the venue. I got there a bit earlier to make sure I would get a spot at the b-stage. And that’s where my plan came in, because I got in, immediately looked for the one spot I wanted to go for and as luck would have it, there it was, still free and waiting for me. Suddenly I was standing right in front of the b-stage, knowing perfectly well that just in a few hours, Ty and Josh would be playing right in front me, about two metres away. So, you could say I got a bit hyper.

But I still had to wait for a bit, which is exactly when that one thing happened, that reminded me why I freaking love being in different fandoms and being part of the clique and basically being surrounded by people who are a bit like me. Because you just get to know so many different people. Right next to me, there was this group of “older” – meaning full grown-up – couples, who turned out to be American and full-time clique-mums. It was my first time hearing the term, but apparently, that’s the name of clikkies, who are already mums. Super cute, I know. So, we started chatting for a bit and then we met this other girl, who, as it turned out, was part Austrian, part German, and living in London to study here. I mean, how crazy is that? Over 12.000 people in one room and I happen to meet another Austrian. I was shook. And the cutest part is that we also left the show together afterwards and we’re actually still in contact. God, I just love concerts so much. Literally anything can happen.

So we all chatted for a while and then it was finally time for the boys to start their show. And I can just tell you, it was an entirely different experience, standing there in the middle of the crowd. I mean, I couldn’t see as much as I had the night before, which was pretty obvious to me. Getting front row for TOP is like the biggest mission ever. Maybe, one day, I’ll do the whole thing – get there early, get my number, queue the whole day, get front row and then hold Ty’s hand during Holding On To You. But this show wasn’t that day and I was totally fine with it. Just the experience of being surrounded by clikkies like me, all dancing and singing and laughing and crying, was just so beautiful. I felt at home.

I actually cannot say which show I enjoyed more, just because the overall feeling and experience were so different. At least when it comes to the boys, for me, there are two ways: Either you buy standing tickets and try to get there super early or are simply fine with maybe not seeing everything all the time, but get the full-on crowd atmosphere. Or you buy seating tickets with the guarantee that you’ll see everything but also with less crazy crowd dynamics (also depends on how close the seats are to the stage).

Besides that, the biggest difference was definitely what happened as soon as it was time for them to make use of the b-stage. As I mentioned in my first post, TOPs show now features a huge bridge that floats down from above and hovers over the crowd for the boys to walk over to the other stage. And as soon as that came down, I knew it was time to freak out a bit. The first one to come over to us was Ty and shortly after that Josh came running past me and up to the stage. And, guys, I can’t begin to describe the feeling of absolute awe I got. They were so close. I mean, I know I had just seen them even closer the day before after the signing, but that was different. That was a more “normal” situation. But now they were in full concert mode, which meant a 100 percent more awesomeness. Which is actually quite fascinating. I’ve already done interviews with a few artists and bands and during the chats, they are always just normal people, like you and me. But as soon as they step on stage, they become these incredible, mind-blowingly talented human beings, who aren’t normal at all. And that is exactly what happened with the boys that night.

And it just changes so much when you can actually watch your favourite artists play. But not from afar or over a big screen. No. Like, actually watch them, up close. Watch how Tyler’s face changes when he sings and how his emotions translate to his every movement. Watch how Josh’s muscles flex depending on how hard he drums. And just live the moment, together with them. That’s something I will definitely never forget. And that they played Bandito in front of me is just the cherry on top, pretty much.

But out of the whole night, my favourite moment happened during the part when Josh ran through the crowd to get to b-stage. The lights were on him and everyone’s focus switched to him, obviously. Everyone’s but mine. Because while everyone was looking at Josh, I turned around and looked at Tyler, who was already sitting at his piano in front of me. And I don’t know exactly why, but it was just such a magical moment for me. Because I caught him in one of those seconds, where nobody usually focuses on him. I studied his face and suddenly everything around me vanished and I kind of got sucked out of the vortex I had been in. All I could see was Tyler, the talented guy from Ohio who hates bananas and balloons, and not Tyler, the uber-phenomenal artist. And then I felt tears running down my cheeks and with one blink of an eye, reality came back. For me, that was definitely one of the most incredible moments of my life and I’ll never ever forget that. It just felt so real.

And yeah, after that it was all just a mind-blowing night and super-fun party. I danced and screamed and laughed and cried and felt so good and so alive that I never ever wanted it to end. As always, I was bawling my eyes out as soon as Trees started, which then turned into both smiling and crying when at the end, yellow confetti came falling down all around me. Which is another reason why I love standing in the pit – if there’s confetti, you’ll be covered in it. And I’m one of those people, who always look up to the ceiling and watch the confetti fall down. Just another super beautiful moment that can’t really be put into words.

And that was it. I honestly can’t even describe how much I enjoyed those two nights and how absolutely breathtaking the shows were. Tyler and Josh really are two of the most brilliant artists out there right now and I feel so proud and so grateful that I get to be one of their fans and that I get to experience all of these amazing moments with them. I don’t know what I would do without them and their music. And I know it might sound super crazy, but I’m just so thankful that I get to be alive at the same time as them. I know so many people who are into bands from the 70s or 80s or 90s, who will never get to see their faves live simply because of time. But here I am, already counting down the days until Sziget and until I get to see my beans live again. My heart is literally filled with so much gratitude.

Which also brings me to the end of this post. Again, I’m sorry this got a bit lengthy as well, but I just love sharing these special moments with you guys. I dearly hope you enjoyed reading all about them and thanks so much for making it until here. You’re amazing. As always, please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. Oh, and before I forget it, just a little info that I won’t be posting anything for the next three weeks as I’ll be spending some time with my family at home. Thanks for understanding. And, of course, thanks for reading. See you in three weeks. x