rant – that lemon life

What Now?

Hola everyone.

Well, where do I start? It’s been a tough few days and weeks and I’m probably not alone in asking myself when this hell of a time will finally end. I was actually planning on publishing a recent interview I did with the amazing LA indie band HUNNY back when I was still in London, but I thought an update would probably be a bit more beneficial. So here’s what’s been happening here in Austria and also in my own headspace.

Let’s start with something positive first, as all I’ve been surrounded by in the past few weeks have been bad news and I can’t deal with them anymore. I’m officially 24 and 3 days old. Yeeeeeyyyyy me. That’s one thing this asshat of a virus couldn’t take away from me – my birthday. And despite all that’s been happening, it was actually a super nice day. Take that, Corona, you pain the ass. The whole day was dedicated to forgetting about the current events as much as possible and it really worked, which made me insanely happy. I spent a lovely day with my parents and even got to see my grandma (in a safe way, obvs) and just two days ago I had my Skype birthday party with my friends. Because that’s how you party in 2020 – via facetime. A few weeks ago I would’ve probably said that was quite lame, but it actually was really really nice to see all my friends and to have a chat together. Also, I got myself an amazing birthday present – an Olympus XA2 film camera, which I can’t wait to finally get my hands on.

Besides that, I’ve been stuck on a shitty, emotional rollercoaster since I came home about two weeks ago (feels like I’ve been home five months, not two weeks). One day I’m feeling okay and pretty optimistic and then a few hours later I seem to have lost every sense of positivity. It’s a constant up and down. But through all of this, I’ve learned to accept my own feelings and to work with them. I feel like right now many people look down on people who are complaining about missing out on experiences, holiday trips, birthday parties, weddings, all that. Because it’s constantly about the greater good, about saving lives. And of course, that’s the top priority right now. But sometimes it’s also okay to feel depressed, to have negative thoughts, to be sad or simply to be egoistic. Because trust me when you’re stuck in the same house for over two weeks with nowhere else to go or nothing else to do, your world gets really small really quick.

And yes, I’ve been feeling very anxious. I don’t know when or if I’ll ever be able to return to London and my old life. And I’ve told many people about my worries and have often heard that I need to accept the current situation and that there’s nothing I can do, but fuck that, honestly. Do you know what it feels like to live your literal dream life, to build a new life up somewhere else, a completely new place, and have it be this perfect and then have it ripped out of your hands in a matter of a few minutes? It’s shit, that’s what it is. And I know some of you might think I’m insane for saying stuff like this out loud because I should probably tell you to #stayathome and pray or tell you who I’m staying at home for or tell you how dramatic the situation is in Italy and that nobody should complain even once, but, again, fuck that. Quite a lot of us are losing quite a lot right now, by the simple act of staying at home for longer than any of us have ever had to in the past and it should be allowed to talk about it. People are losing to illnesses that have been here way longer than this virus has. People can’t watch their children being born. Happy couples had to cancel their weddings. People are losing jobs on a daily basis. My mum had to close her office and put her whole company on hold two weeks ago with no information about when she’ll be able to work again and little to no support from the government. My dad works at a bank and still has to go to work every day, risking his life and the lives of others day by day (although I’d do quite a lot to be able to go outside and see other people right now). And then there’s me with no idea when I’ll be able to return to London, my second home, again.

So, every day has become a huge ass question mark, which is just another reason why I’ve started to live from one day to another. I’ve stopped making plans for anything, because I’d rather have no plans than having yet another event canceled that I was looking forward to (*cough* any concerts ever *cough*). And besides that, it has also kinda helped me to stay positive. Daily walks have become my highlight of the day. I’ve buried myself in a book I’ve been reading (The Nightingale; it’s fantastic, but definitely not for someone looking for a light, fun read) and I’ve actually resurrected my Nintendo DS and have been playing Harvest Moon in my urge of getting my mind off buying a Switch so I can play Animal Crossing, like 90 % percent of the internet right now (I’m so damn close to buying it though). And on a more artistic note, I’ve recently started drawing again, which has really helped me calm down when I’m feeling anxious. And cuddling with my loved ones, that’s a big one as well. Cuddle and hold your parents and anyone you’re stuck inside with right now. Talk to your friends. Go and press your cat or dog to your face. It really helps.

In a nutshell, that’s what my life has been like in the past two weeks. It has been just as chaotic as this blog post right here. I go from straight-up positivity to the darkest of times in a matter of a few hours day by day, but I know I’m not alone in this and that kinda helps. I guess we’re all in this together. So let’s just try and be kind to each other. But as I’ve sworn myself, please promise me to never disregard your own feelings. It’s okay if you’re feeling down or feel like there’s nothing to get up for. Or if you’re feeling happy while people around you aren’t. Your feelings are important and so are you. Please know that. The only thing I want you to remember is that there’s always something or someone to get out of bed for and it might not seem like it right now, but a smile is always better than nothing. Go and spread positivity in any way possible. And if the news are getting too much for you, just turn them off. Do what makes you feel good.

Please take care of yourself, guys. Again, we’re all in this together and we’ll get through this together. I’m sending you all tight hugs from my living room in Austria and hope you’re all doing good, as good as you can. If any of you feel like talking, I’m always here for you. And until then, thanks for listening to my rambling and, of course, thanks for reading. x

Power to the local dreamer

Hola everyone.

And welcome back to another Monday and another week. I hope so far you’ve had a great day and that you’re doing good. Today I’d like to talk about something very special – how the move to the UK and my time there and basically the aspect of living my dream has influenced me personally and my view of life. I know, it might sound a bit philosophical now, but, actually, I want this to be a story of a dreamer. Of us, I daresay.

First of all, I obviously need to say that moving to Brighton and attending BIMM was definitely one of the best decisions I’ve ever made. Yes, it was a big and quite scary step. Far away from home, completely on my own and surrounded by strangers. And yes, it was difficult when I first got there, but I knew that it would get better. And I knew that it was what I needed to do in order to get one step closer to my dream. My goal. And that’s actually the easiest way to get through something – if you’ve got something to actually work for, something to look forward to. It might not make the stones in your way smaller, but you’ll grow a tiny bit bigger.

And it all paid off because in a matter of two months, I was already at a place I never thought I’d get to in such a short amount of time. There I was, living in the UK for the very first time, on my own, and living my dream. Interviewing musicians, going to one concert after another, actually becoming a part of the music industry. The risk had paid off.

I often talk to my friend Leni about how the whole trip influenced me. And all I can say is that it taught me to firstly value myself and secondly my dreams. And to fight for them, no matter how crazy they might sound. I would’ve never believed that I would manage to actually be stuck in a room with Hippo freaking Campus for over an hour. Or that I would get to hug Tom after seeing him live for the very first time and doing an interview with him. It all would’ve sounded way too crazy for me if someone would’ve told me about it a few years ago. But it all happened. And it did because I was willing to fight for it and try my best to reach all of my goals.

And now that I’m back home, I get to really digest everything that happened and I noticed that after having been at that point of total happiness, of living the dream, there’s simply no way I can go back. I now know what it feels like to do the one thing you were always meant to do, you always dreamt about doing, and for me, there’s no way back now. And that’s totally fine. Even when I’ll be growing old, I don’t want to look back and just see this as the phenomenal time I had while being at uni. That’s just not how it goes. Because that’s simply not who I am. Not anymore, at least. I want the dream to become my life. Permanently.

I often see people just walking around, living their life, not complaining much but also not doing anything overly exciting. They’re simply alive, doing what they’re supposed to do, earning the money they need to stay afloat and once in a while, they go on holiday or a weekend trip and that’s when they’re free and get to feel alive. And I don’t mean to sound like that’s something bad. I know people who’re extremely happy with their lives like that. They just have other dreams and goals than I do. Or than some other people.

I remember back in school when my teachers would ask me what I wanted to do when I’m older and I always said that I wanted to move abroad, to London. I was 16. And I definitely received more than one strange look from my classmates after saying this. Because, at the age of 16, having the ultimate goal of moving abroad simply sounds strange. And crazy. But I really meant it. And still, I kind of thought that I was a bit weird, maybe also a bit delusional. Because I had never met anyone with the same ambitions as me. Maybe I was crazy.

But then I moved to Vienna and met one dreamer after another. People like me, who also had those crazy dreams they were fighting for with all their power and will. And then I met Leni and now we’re moving to London together. We are doing exactly the one thing nobody ever really believed we would truly accomplish. But now that we have that, it’s “go bigger or go home”. Especially for me. I want to wake up every day happy about the fact that I get to go to work. I don’t want to always think “oh, I’m going to be happy or going to do that once I get home or once the weekend is here”. That’s not what I want from life. I mean, what a total waste of time. Why can’t we all be happy all the time? I mean, of course, we can’t, because we’re humans and we’ve all got our problems and struggles, but still. And after all this time, I think it’s more than okay to ask these questions. Because we all deserve to be happy with the life we are living.

I know, this really turned into a huge philosophical post now (sorry), but that’s kind of what has been floating through my head the past weeks. Maybe because I miss the craziness that was BIMM and doing interviews and rushing from show to show. Another reason why I can’t wait to be back. But I think it’s also because I notice how more and more people are now actively ready to fight for their dreams. And I think that’s so damn important. One of my friends decided to move to London with Leni and me. Another one started a new program at university to fulfil her passion. And my mum quit her job and just started her own company. They all did what they had to do in order to be happy and I’m so damn proud of that. Some people might have told them that they are taking way too many risks or that it could all go wrong. And of course it could. But they’re all still here and probably happier than they were before. And isn’t that the most important part?

What I want to say: it’s totally alright to want more from life. To dream big. To fight for what you believe in. To take risks in order to be happy. Do whatever you need to do in order to be happy. Seriously. It will all work out, I promise. Power to the local dreamer (yes, that’s a Twenty One Pilots line and, yes, I had to add that in).

And with that I’m going to end today’s post. I hope that some of you could get a bit of reinforcement and strength out of my words. If any of you want to talk, please don’t hesitate to comment down below. And until then I wish you all a lovely week and thanks for reading. x

Why Endgame broke me

Hola everyone.

Yes, the day has finally come. I am here and I’m finally going to talk about Endgame. I know, it really took me long enough, but those of you who have seen it and have followed my blog for a while will know exactly why. I needed time to recover. But now I’m ready to let all my thoughts and emotions spill. Just a quick note at the beginning: No, I don’t think that Avengers: Endgame is the best Marvel movie ever, but before you start shouting at me, please first let me tell you why I think this way. Naturally, this means that the following paragraphs will contain a freaking HUGE amount of spoilers, so if you haven’t seen the movie yet – first of all, what are you even doing, and secondly, well freaking done not getting spoiled until now – please stop reading now. Trust me, it will definitely ruin the experience of the movie. Go and see it at the cinema (preferably in IMAX) and just enjoy the movie. Seriously.

So, for one last time…

HUGE AMOUNT OF SPOILERS FOR AVENGERS: ENDGAME COMING YOUR WAY

Before I actually start discussing the movie, let me quickly explain why this movie, from the day I knew it would be coming, meant so much to me. In 2009 I was sat in front of my tv at home, flicking through the channels and ended up on one particular scene, showing a guy dressed in a metal suit, flying around in the air. I decided to keep watching it and in that very moment, I started off a journey into a completely different, wonderfully fascinating universe that would continue being by my side for the next 10 years. I didn’t know it then, but the strange guy, who, back then, was a bit too full of himself, although I still thought he looked cool in the golden and red suit, would soon become my all-time favourite fictional character and my ultimate hero (besides my mum, but we’re talking about fictional stuff). I soon went from calling him Iron Man to referring to him as Tony. My Tony. I remember writing down a list of all the upcoming highlights of 2013 and proudly putting the release of Iron Man 3 right up there. That’s how much I loved the movies. And not just Tony, but also all the others (we don’t talk about Thor 1 & 2). Doctor Strange blew my mind with all its endless colours and realities, while Thor: Ragnarok had me shed tears of laughter. Civil War had me broken for the one character I loved the most, while Spiderman combined my two favourite heroes (Tony and Peter) and made me fall in love with the friendly neighbourhood Spiderman all over again. And then came Infinity War. The one movie that still is, even after Endgame, the single best movie, no, the single best cinematic experience, I’ve ever had and seen in my entire life. It is and will always be pure perfection. At least for me. No other movie has ever made my feel such a complex mix of emotions within the duration of two and a half hours. And that’s the most important part when it comes to the MCU – it makes me feel things. Over the course of those 10 years, I’ve gotten attached to certain characters, fought discussions for them, had them guide me on my own path in life. Marvel has become a part of my life, a part of me.

And this is why Endgame was so important to me. And also why it hurt so much. I went into the cinema, thinking that I would be walking out as the same person I walked in. But no. Endgame did something to me no other movie or tv show, basically anything fictional, has ever done to me. It broke me. And here’s why.

They killed him.

They really made my most feared scenario become reality and killed off the one character I loved the most. They killed Tony. My Tony. The one character that has been with me for the past ten years and now he’s just gone and I don’t know what to do. Honestly, I swear, if I hadn’t been crying so much, it would have been quiet enough in the cinema to literally hear my heart burst into a million pieces. I felt like someone had just ripped out my heart, set it on fire, jumped on it, torn it into pieces and then thrown these pieces down a cliff, just to scrape them off the ground and give them back to me with an evil grin on their face. Leni, who I watched the movie with, later told me that she could actually hear me whisper “please no. please no. I don’t want to see this. I don’t want to see this.” over and over again. I was literally begging for his life, although I knew I couldn’t do anything. I wish I could have.

I don’t know how long I cried for. I mean, I started to tear up as soon as we saw Clint’s family turn to dust, and Nat sacrificing herself for the soul stone had me in ugly tears as well, but that was nothing compared to my state when Tony died. I actually don’t remember most of the movie after that moment, I just know that when everyone had left the room and I was finally able to get up, I went to the toilet, locked myself in and started to cry again. I just couldn’t help myself. But there was this nice moment that happened as I was sitting there, bawling my eyes out. I could hear someone next to me crying as well and at that moment I didn’t feel alone anymore. I knew I wasn’t the only one going through this and that helped.

It took me about three weeks to fully recover and to go through all the stages of grief. Which I really did go through, I’m not even kidding. First came the shock, the obvious stage. And as soon as we got out of the cinema, I said: “I’ve never seen that movie, that never happened, Tony is still alive, Marvel can f* off.” Yep, that right there is denial in it’s most perfect form. And the rest was just a few cries, mixed with A LOT of anger, that’s still lurking around in the back of my head, topped with a few bits and bops of hope. But I think I’ve got it now. I mean, I still cried yesterday when RDJ posted his goodbye video of his last day on set on Instagram, but besides that I’m fine. I think.

To be honest, if I didn’t love Tony that much, I think I would actually be fine with his ending. But you never want someone you love to die, do you? But I get it. He’s the hero. He’s always been the hero. And he could have never fully settled down if he didn’t know that the world was a 1000000000 % safe. That’s just who he is. So, I get it. And I’m proud to be a fan of the best one. I recently read an interview in which Joe Russo answered the question of why it had to be Tony. Why he had to be the one to defeat Thanos. Here’s what he said: “Stark is the most formidable of all of them. Because of his heart.” I can’t even begin to describe how much that sentence means to me. I think that’s also why I partly love Endgame. It’s a homage to Tony. He was the one to start it all. He was the one to make it all happen. They would have never been able to even go back in time and get the stones without having him figure out time travel in the first place. It’s always been him. He has always been and will always be the best of all of them and Endgame proved that.

I’m just not quite sure if I wouldn’t have liked him to just be a mediocre hero who actually got to survive. But then it wouldn’t be Tony, I guess. His arc is the defining arc of the MCU and his story has always been the core of it all. He’s the heart of the MCU and I honestly have no idea what they’re going to do without him now. I mean, I’ve slightly got my hopes up for Far From Home and a Tony A.I., but after watching that video that Robert posted, I’m not so convinced anymore. I guess I just need to accept that I won’t see this man in that role ever again and that’s actually the hardest step of all of them.

So, that’s that about Tony and how Endgame broke my heart. But, honestly, that’s not why I’m just not such a big fan of the movie. Don’t get me wrong, the movie had some of the best moments in cinematic history, and scenes I deeply loved. It basically gave me everything I was hoping for and then crushed it all in front of my eyes. But still, it had so many good parts. I loved seeing Tony interact with Nebula, who, in my opinion, is one of the best characters of the whole movie. The scene when Tony finally gets back to earth and then goes up against Cap in that amazing monologue is one of the most empowering scenes ever. I wanted to scream at that part, no joke. I’ve always wanted Tony to call Cap out on his mistakes and he finally did it and it made me feel so alive. Because Cap just had to stand there and endure it. And he deserved it. Also, it was one of the best scenes I’ve ever seen from Robert and if the Academy doesn’t nominate him for an Oscar I’ll be knocking on their door very very soon.

I loved seeing Tony with his young daughter Morgan, who, I’m not going to lie, is the cutest kid ever. And I was so happy to finally see him get what he always wanted – a family. I might just have to add now that I’m still furious with the Russos and the writers McFeely and Markus for saying that giving Tony five years of perfect retirement life was enough, but I’ve been angry about that for long enough now. I’d rather focus on the fact that these were the cutest scenes of the whole movie and the fact that the “I love you 3000” line actually comes from Robert himself because his own kids say that to him, which nearly brings my heart to a burst. Isn’t that the sweetest thing ever?

Also, finally putting Pepper into a suit was definitely one of the best decisions they could make. Again, this all happened thanks to Robert, who told the directors that Pepper needed to become a more important character, which again proves that the MCU would never be what it is now without this amazing actor and his love for this franchise. I can just repeat myself – I really don’t know what they’re going to do without him now.

Besides that, despite what most people say, it made total sense to me that Nat had to sacrifice herself. She would never be the one to watch her best friend kill himself for her, so I always knew it would be her. And I liked how they made the scene turn out, them fighting over the sacrifice, it made it all that bit more dramatic. I have to admit that I like the idea of her sacrificing herself in order to prove how much she loves her Avengers family more than the thought of the writers of how Clint had to stay alive because he had a family. What a dumb thing to say. They killed Tony, who also had family, so what do they even mean?

And I liked that Clint got to be in the bigger picture again, as I’ve always really enjoyed the character. I still don’t quite get why they had to show him kill some Asian guys as Ronin, but oh well. I don’t know if they will show him in future movies, but I would be quite happy if they did.

So far about the characters I did like. Now, let’s talk about the most epic part – the end fight. Holy moly. Leni and I watched the movie in IMAX, so, without exaggerating, I was sitting there, watching that part, and I had no idea where to look. There was just so much going on. First, the holy trinity (Tony, Cap and Thor) fighting Thanos. Clint running away from the Chitauri with the gauntlet in his hand. Then Cap fighting Thanos on his own and suddenly being able to wield Mjølnir. And then him suddenly hearing “on your left”, said by Falcon, and seeing all the portals open up around him and all the dusted characters being alive again and coming to help them fight Thanos. Pepper becoming Rescue and fighting Thanos’ army alongside Tony. Tony hugging Peter after he finally came back and uttering “hold me, kid, hold me”. All the female characters teaming up to beat Thanos. Wanda basically being the baddest of them all and saying “you took everything from me” to Thanos – which also kind of describes how I’m feeling about Endgame, to be honest. Just the overall fight and being able to watch all of these different characters fighting alongside each other blew my mind. Definitely one of the best scenes I’ve ever been able to experience.

Overall, the production of this movie is out of this world. The dynamics, the colours, the cinematography. All the people working in the CGI apartment for Marvel should receive an award for this because they sure outdid themselves with this one. Apart from that, I absolutely love the score – a big thank you to Alan Silvestri for that one. And last but not least, the actors. RDJ (obviously), Chris Evans, Scarlett Johansson, Karen Gillan, Tom Holland (who always receives the script the day they are shooting and basically improvises nearly every single scene), Josh Brolin, just to name a few. All of them brought their A-game to this movie and I’m still stunned by that. They deserve all the recognition they get and I’m so glad we got to see all of these amazing actors together in one movie. Also, let’s not forget the fantastic stunt doubles who did an incredible job as well. Basically, the whole movie is a compilation of amazing people doing their best.

But, as I stated at the beginning, the movie, for me, is far from being perfect. I have to admit that I had indeed set the bar very high. Infinity War had, actually. I wanted Endgame to be perfect, maybe even more than that, and, unfortunately, it couldn’t live up to that. Which would be fine, if it didn’t have obvious issues. First of all, and some people might not agree with me on that one, I hated what they did with Thor and Hulk. Thor: Ragnarok is one of the best Marvel movies ever and it made me fall in love with the two characters, whereas Endgame made a joke out of both of them. I know that Thor had to be the one character to prove that he indeed suffers, but making him fat just for laughs was cheap (the filmmakers indeed admitted that it was meant to be a joke). And what happened to Hulk? Why did he have to dab? The more they showed him, the more I started to lose respect and it made me feel so bad because I honestly love Bruce. I read a theory that Hulk could become Hulk again through his pain after hearing that Nat had died and I honestly would have loved that take so much more.

On the other hand, I would have also liked the ending to be a bit different. Not different as in an alternate ending – although I would do nearly anything to have Tony back. I would have just liked the movie to end on another note. Personally, I always knew that Cap would go back in time and stay there with Peggy. I even betted on that with Leni. I just knew. But I didn’t want it to be the last scene of the movie. Because it left me with a feeling that we had all just watched another Captain America movie and not an Avengers one. It shouldn’t have been just him with Peggy. The funeral should have been the end. Because it was the scene where all of them were together (slight note: did you all see Harley? I’m so happy to have him back). It would have given us the sense of togetherness and how the movie was about THEM and not just Cap and his lovey-dovey ending (frankly, I’m a bit bitter about that) (also, I won’t talk about the time travel aspect, because it still is a plot hole, but oh well). That should have been the post-credit scene and at the very end, before the lights turned on, we should have heard the sound of Tony making his very first suit in that cave from a bunch of scraps. That would have been the perfect ending for me (besides having Tony live – and no, I’ll never stop complaining about that).

And lastly, I also have to say that I have a slight problem with the overall story. I know that the movie was meant to be a celebration of the past ten years, which is why they had us relive Avengers again and Thor 2 and the first Guardians movie. And I loved that, I really did. But after much deliberation, I think it was kind of lazy as well. It relied way too much on the concept of fan service. And of course I am a huge fan of fan service, because, you guessed it, I am indeed a fan. But at the end of the day, I am an even bigger fan of innovation. Having us watch the battle of New York again and giving us a glance behind the scenes is fan service. Putting Doctor Strange, Spidey and Tony in one ship and having them collide with the Guardians on a planet called Titan, which none of them has ever been on, is innovation. And that’s where Endgame is different. It lacks innovation. Of course, it was nice to relive the past 22 movies, but I would have loved to see something new. Something I would remember for the rest of my life (besides the end fight and losing Tony).

So yeah, guys, there you go. That’s my take on Avengers: Endgame. I’m pretty sure I forgot to include a bunch of other scenes, but I think I managed to discuss my personal most important aspects. I’m sure you all have your own takes on the movie and I’m even more sure that some of you won’t agree with me at all. But maybe some of you will. Either way, I would love to hear your opinions, so please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts and comments down below. I’m always open to a nice discussion.

In the end, I just have to say, that despite my feelings about the movie, I am incredibly happy to be able to experience something like this. 11 years ago absolutely nobody would have dared to dream about something like this and now we are here. A moment in time where a superhero movie could become the biggest movie of all time. How incredible is that? And personally, I’m incredibly grateful that I got to spend my time growing up with the one and only Robert Downey Jr. accompanying me on my path as the one and only Tony Stark. After losing him, I suddenly noticed how much this character really means to me and I’ll be forever grateful for being able to go on this journey with him. He’s the character I could always identify myself with the most – despite not being a billionaire and a genius myself (I wish). He was always the most relatable one. The one who wasn’t born or made a superhero, the one who wasn’t trained or calls himself a god. He’s just a human being, but the smartest one I know, with the biggest heart. And that’s why I’ve always loved him. And despite how much the movie has hurt me, I still love Marvel with all of my heart. 3000.

And I love you guys as well. If you’ve made it until here, thanks so much for reading all of my thoughts, you’re amazing. I dearly hope you enjoyed them. And, as always, I wish you a lovely weekend and thanks for reading. x

Winter Is Here

Hola everyone.

And welcome to another week. Can’t believe we’re already reaching the middle of February. When did that happen? Time really does fly by, doesn’t it? That’s why we need to enjoy it to its fullest. Which is something you could say I did in the past few weeks. Which is exactly what I wanna tell you all about. Today I’m gonna tell you the story of how I, despite all my beliefs, became a Game of Thrones fan.

Yes, I know. I’ll give you all a minute to process that and calm down again. Yes, it’s really me, Laura. I know. I can’t believe it myself. I, the person who really really REALLY disliked Game of Thrones until a few weeks ago now calls herself a fan. Life is full of surprises. And I did not only watch it, oh no. I devoured it. I binged it. I didn’t watch anything else for about three or four weeks. Which is exactly how long it took me to get through all of the seven seasons. I’ll let you do the math, but yes, that’s not a long time. And every single time I felt my mind going a bit twitchy because I was sitting at uni and just wanted to know what would happen to Jon or Daenerys in the next episode, I got this instant feeling of shock and surprise and, quite frankly, happiness.

But before I get into why I now really really like the series, let me first explain why I disliked it so badly. Well, I first got in contact with the show when my parents started watching it and I got see a few bits here and there. And I literally hated all of it. And that never really changed throughout the years. So, whenever someone asked me why I didn’t like the show, I told them that I thought that it was either a porno or a slasher/gore horror movie. Which was true, at least, because nobody ever seemed to come up with an argument against that. And let’s be honest, the first two seasons are indeed just a mix of those two things. So, as you can probably guess, I didn’t really enjoy watching it the first few days. That’s just not my cup of tea, you know. I love horror movies, but not that kind. But I thought I should just give it a chance. There had to be a reason for the extreme hype around it. And I wanted to know that exact reason. It was a bit like Lord of the Rings for me. I never liked it until I saw the ending of the second Hobbit movie by accident on TV and couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with the whole story. And that was exactly what I hoped would happen with Game of Thrones. I wanted to be wrong. I wanted to like it.

Which I then did, after I let myself fall into it. The more episodes I watched, the more I enjoyed it. And maybe that’s just my opinion, but for me the show gets better with every single season. Compared to the last two, the first two seasons really are utter crap (my favorite two episodes are the last two of season 6; so epic, I can’t even describe it). Sorry, not sorry. And I can’t be the only one to notice that they literally got rid of all the crappy stuff. Of course nudity is still a big thing and it wouldn’t be GOT if not at least one person got killed in every single episode, but none of that is crappy in any way. They really topped up on the quality and I’m so utterly thankful for that. The more constructed the stories got and the more characters started to grow and change, the more I got to love the show. I caught myself cursing at different characters, even clapping and cheering when one of my favorite characters killed off one of my most hated ones. I got so intrigued by the story, I felt like a part of it myself. I still do, actually. And it’s all very fresh, as I just finished the series last week.

I know that the last season is supposed to be released in the middle of April or something like that, which I’m super excited for. I don’t wanna spoil anything, but I honestly have no idea how any of them want to win the real war. I mean, whoever dies, they’re just going to have to kill them again. And from what I’ve seen online so far, I’m not the only one who thinks the war is literally impossible to win. Which is exactly why I’m so excited to see how it’s gonna end. Very very hyped up, honestly.

So yeah, there you go guys. That’s how I became a fan of Game of Thrones and again learned you shouldn’t judge a movie or a series by a few minutes. But what do you think about the show, guys? Do you like it? Let me know your thoughts down below. And until then I hope you enjoy this post and wish you all a nice week. And, as always, thanks so much for reading. x

Hello 2019

Hola everyone.

I know, I know, where the hell have I been? I’m so sorry for not positing anything for such a long time, but I thought it was the best to kind of just relax during the holidays and concentrate on spending my time with my family and friends at home. But now that I’m back in Brighton, I thought it was time to come out of my hole again. So, welcome back, guys, and hello 2019.

Now that I’ve been here for a week already, I have to say it feels like I’ve never been away, which is both good and sad. To be honest, I wasn’t in a really good state after I got here. I don’t think I’ve ever missed my home this much. But I’ve been talking a lot to my family and my friends, videochatting with my mum and stuff and now that uni has started again and I’ve got more stuff to do, I’ve been feeling better every single day. So yeah, back to business, right?

But enough of me – how were your holidays, Christmas and New Year’s Eve? Did you get to spend time with your family as well? I’m literally so happy that I got to be home for a whole month. It’s crazy how, when you leave your home and then come back again, you start to appreciate it all so much more. I mean, I’m honestly the luckiest person ever. We are the luckiest people, seriously. At least from my perspective. I’m so utterly grateful for my home and my family and my friends and just everyone and everything in my life. I think we as people often forget to appreciate those things and people we have around us everyday. Having dinner with your family. Having a comfy, warm bed to lie down in after a long day. Having a dog or a cat sitting next to you, who love you to the moon and back. Sometimes we all forget that all of this isn’t self-evident. Most people would probably do anything to have what most of us have and sometimes we kind of just forget about that. And that’s basically what the holidays and the time I got to spent at home taught me – to be more grateful for everyone and everything and to share happiness and love. At the end of the day, that’s the most important thing.

Bet you missed my deep, philosophical talks, right? Feels amazing to be back, honestly. I can’t wait to share all that has happened during my month at home with you and continue chatting about music and movies and more. I’ve missed you guys and being on here so much. This is literally my little home on the internet and I’m so grateful for that.

As always, I hope you’re all doing good and wish you an amazing week. If you’ve got any questions or anything else or if you just want to talk, please don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below. And, of course, thanks for reading. And again, welcome back, thanks for being here. x

Thoughts

Hola everyone.

You know, today has been a real rollercoaster. On the one side it was a super amazing day and on the other side I feel like I lost all hope today. You’ll all probably know by now what I’m talking about.

Honestly, I never wanted to turn this blog into something political and I have no wish to change this, not even at a day like this one. But I love our planet and I think there are times when you just have to raise your voice, whether you planned it or not. So, in short, I am devastated that Trump and Co. are trying to literally destroy this planet. You all probably heard that he lifted the ban to import animal trophies from Africa, which Obama had started just 4 years ago. It seems like Trump just hates every single thing Obama did and just wants to destroy everything the USA achieved in the past years. So, what does that mean? It means that the Trump administration plans to allow hunters to bring trophies of elephants they killed in Zimbabwe and Zambia back to the United States, which of course means that all these hunters now have the chance to kill even more of these innocent, beautiful creatures for fun – or as they call it, as a sport. And it seems like lions will be next and so and on and on.

I read this today after I got into the subway on my way to uni and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I was and still am so damn angry. I mean, what the hell? How can someone possibly decide that it’s a good idea to shoot animals? What is even wrong with you? And then I read more and more and tears started streaming down my face in the middle of class and I didn’t even care. You have to know, in my family, our pets are part of our families. Our cat and dog are our babies, we could never live without them. My mum is a huge activist when it comes to animals and just as an example – when there’s a spider in our house we either let it stay or catch it and take it outside. Killing is wrong. Shooting animals for fun, for trophies is the sickest thing ever. And all these people destroy the chance of our future generations to see all those majestic animals. Like, imagine that? Lions and elephants are meant to go extinct in the next 20 years. 20 YEARS. And now that the situation seemed to improve, this guy and his administration come around and just destroy everything. Why? Just why?

So yeah, there’s that. I’m devastated and sad and speechless. I’m just happy that it seems like most of the world is pretty shocked about this and urges the US to change this immediately. And I’m trying to do my part by writing this – and even if I just reach out to one person, I achieved something – and by sharing this link here with you. It’s a petition against all this and if you could just take like 30 seconds to sign it, it would be amazing:

this way to sign and make the world a slightly better place

Thank you so much for your help guys. I know this is different to the stuff I usually post but I just felt that it was the right thing to speak up. And I really hope you have the same opinion as me.

And yeah, even though the situation worldwide could be better, I hope you’re all doing well and I wish you all an amazing weekend. And please don’t hesitate to leave your comments and thoughts down below. And, as always, thanks for reading. x