Tag: rant

Goals

Hola everyone.

First of all, I wanna say sorry for the certain lack of posts the past two weeks. Somehow I didn’t feel like posting twice a week, mainly because my head was basically stuffed with other things. So, please let me give you a little update.

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Right now I’m sitting at home in my apartment in Vienna, listening to Tom Rosenthal and mainly thinking about my life. University in particular, as today was the first day of the new semester. We moved in here again last Friday and I’m feeling pretty happy to be back here again. Last week I wrote my first exam of this semester and next week I’m flying to Amsterdam with my friend for a short holiday trip and to see Martin Garrix at the Amsterdam Dance Event. And I can’t wait, seriously. God, I’m so excited.

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But apart from all that, university has basically been my main concern right now. And that brings me to this one special topic I want to talk about today. Which is goals. And no, I don’t mean relationship, friendship or boyfriend goals. I mean the basic life goals we all have and struggle with. And I know how you’re all feeling, because the future is scaring the hell out of me right now and also, at the same time, putting the biggest grin on my face.

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As some of you may know I’m planning to move to London to do my Master there. And this one stupid, little, idiotic thing called Brexit has basically put one huge stone in my way, which I’m trying to crawl over right now. So, in order to not have to pay like 20.000 € for university, I’m planning on finishing my Bachelor next summer. That would enable me to go to London next autumn, before the Brexit. Good plan so far, I know. But it will be hard. I know, I’m probably talking about daily hassles and small nothings here, but it seems like university doesn’t really want me to finish this early. But I will try my best anyway.

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So, this is a huge goal of mine. To try my absolute best, work hard and finish my Bachelor next summer to be able to go to London without any more difficulties. And that really, really means a lot to me. It’s like one of my biggest dreams to live and study in London.

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But you know, at some moments when I sit in front of my laptop and plan my semester and think about ways I could do more and better, I take a deep breath, relax and quickly think about all the goals in my life I have already achieved and all the dreams I made true. And I think that’s really something important to do. Because sometimes I talk to different people or look at young people with amazing careers and get the feeling that I’m basically a huge loser, but that’s not true. Not at all. Because I simply know that I have already achieved and done so many things I never thought I would do. And not even at this young age. I mean, I’m 21 years old, acing my Bachelor right now (yes, I do get good grades), already lived in Berlin on my own, wrote and published my own book and am working as a journalist since March this year. I mean, how crazy is that? And I’ve done, seen and achieved so much more. I really have to tell myself all those things over and over again every few times, just to remind myself to be proud of myself. And that’s so freaking important. To be proud of yourself and happy with who you are and what you’ve done and what you’re doing. You should all try it out, it will probably baffle you all, because you’ll notice something great – we are all amazing people, trying to do their best in this crazy thing we call our world. And that’s awesome.

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I know, I have huge ass goals on my list and crazy plans for my life, but sometimes it’s really nice to look back at my own life path. Because it really makes me happy. I know I’m literally the biggest perfectionist who always pushes herself, but you know what? I try my freaking best everyday and it’s pretty perfect the way it is right now. And I’m great the way I am. I wouldn’t change a thing. And I really hope that you guys think the same of yourself, because you should and you owe it to yourself. Treat yourself. And stop comparing your life with others. You are you, they are them and everyone can be struggling sometimes. You’re all doing amazing, please never forget that.

So yeah guys, that’s my little update and post about all the thoughts that have been swirling around my head for a long time and something I find is really important. I hope you enjoyed it and that it maybe made you think a little. Please don’t hesitate to leave your thoughts down below. And until then I wish you all an amazing week and, as always, thanks for reading. x

Being a fangirl

Hola everyone.

Today I want to talk about a topic that really means a lot to me. And that possibly some of you can relate to. Which is being a fangirl or like I would say it, being completely obsessed with a band or a musician.

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So, I recently talked my friend about this because I watched a three hour long live stream of Marin Garrix show at the Amsterdam Dance Event (ADE). And you can probably already tell by now that I completely freaked out. It was 4 am and I was jumping around in front of my TV, smiling from one ear to the other with Peaches and Molly sleeping behind me on the couch. They probably thought I was completely crazy. And I sometimes caught myself thinking that too, but you know, who cares? I had such a blast and it was so freaking amazing.

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And here comes the important part. Of course I had to tell my friend all about that and I sent her about 150 messages that night because I was so excited and I just had to share my excitement. We talked about it the next day and I had the feeling that I was annoying. And then she told me that she kind of stopped being a fangirl. And I was shocked. Because she was once obsessed with bands and music like me. But somehow that changed.

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She said things like dreaming and living in a real world and so on. And then I started thinking. Because I am a huge fangirl, but I never thought that I lived in a fake, dreamy world. I mean, dreaming makes the world so much better, but that doesn’t mean that you forget about the real world.

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Since starting to be a fangirl I’ve always been confronted with this typical idea that people had of fangirls and moreover of me because I was and am one. According to them, fangirls are young, dreamy girls that scream about everything a band or a musician does and want to marry them. They live in a fake world that they have to grow out of. Until then they are just some weird girls being obsessed over people they’ll never meet.

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This idea might fit for 12 year old girls, maybe not even then. And I want to use this post to spread a new idea of what a fangirl truly is. Because I am a fangirl and I’m nothing of the above. I noticed that when I talked to my friend. And I wrote a list of my favorite bands and musicians:

  • Conor Maynard
  • Fall Out Boy
  • Two Door Cinema Club
  • Panic! At The Disco
  • The 1975
  • Twenty One Pilots
  • Martin Garrix
  • Ed Sheeran

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Apart from Conor and Martijn, there are no guys out there I can fall in love with. Maybe Ed too, his voice is just too angelic. But the point I want to get to is that when I started being a fangirl I was this little crazy girl who dreamt about marrying some guy (okay, it was Justin, hey hey) but I grew up and I am still this crazy girl, but today I am crazy about the music. I still stalk the bands online. I still fly over to concerts in different countries. I still go to concerts wayyyy to early just to get a good view. I still scream when I see them. I still cry when the bands finally get on stage and I get to see them. I still have them as my lock screen on my phone, depending on which one I love most right now. I still buy the albums. And I still think about them all the time. They are my world. Always were, always will be.

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So nothing changed. Except that I grew up. You know, whenever people notice how crazy you are about some certain bands or musicians, they look at you like you’ve just completely lost your mind. But that’s not how it is. I’m a fan. And I’m a girl. So I am a FAN-GIRL. I’m not 12, I don’t dream about stupid unreal scenarios and I’m not crazy. I just show how much I love music and the people who bring it into my life. And that’s it. That’s what being a fangirl nowadays means.

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So, there you go. I know, this is kind of a rant about the general view of fangirls, but I just had to get it out there. Even my mum is a fangirl still and Coldplay, the band we flew over to Copenhagen just to see them, is the reason for this. And I hope I’ll once fly to concerts with my children when I’m older. And I really really really hope that my children will fall as hard in love with music as I did. Because it brought so much happiness into my life that I can’t even describe it. Seriously.

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As this is a really important part of my life, I’d be really happy to receive some messages from you guys. So feel free to talk to me, I’m here. I really hope that you enjoyed this post, it really means a lot to me. And as always, thank you so much for reading. x

Girls talk (kinda?)

Hola everyone.

So, I guess today will be some kind of different topic and I’ll try to be 100 % honest with you because honestly, we’re all the same so.

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You can probably imagine that I have no idea how it feels to be a boy, but I certainly know how it feels to be a girl growing up in this crazy world. And I can tell you, there are a lot of struggles.

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Let’s start with my favorite topic (sarcasm), the week of hell. Or strawberry week or whatever you want to call it, because for me, as already mentioned, it’s the week of hell and I hate it. To death. Forever and always. Let’s be honest, why do girls have to go through that? It makes no sense at all. It hurts like hell. Makes you feel completely uncomfortable. For me, it makes you feel and look awful, at least from your perspective. And like for real, you’re bleeding!!??! If we cut our finger and bleed for like 20 seconds it’s huge, but when girls are on their period it’s no big deal at all. That’s so unfair. I mean, hell no, it’s not funny at all to have cramps like hell for 5 days or more. I would go without it anytime, seriously. I mean, I have to say that I’m currently at the beginning of my week of hell so I’m a little bit overemotional and complicated and I feel like crap and, for me, look like crap (my boss asked me if I’m sick), so yeah, it’s probably not the best time to complain about things, but I’m in the mood for it, so don’t judge.

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So yeah, periods are shitty and pure nonsense. Next. The struggle of looking bomb every second of your life. And before any of you come at me, I know things are changing right now, thank god, but still. People think that girls and women have to be pretty. We just have to. And I don’t get it. Sometimes I want to dress up and look good, of course. But then I’m doing it for myself and not for anybody else. But sometimes I also don’t want to care about my looks AT ALL. Today it’s a lot easier for me to walk around without any makeup (at home) and in some chill out clothes. But when I was younger I always thought that I had to look good, all the time. I remember my mum asking me why I was wearing makeup at home. And I didn’t even know. I just felt weird without it. And today I don’t even want to put on makeup when I know that I’ll just be home the whole day. Because putting it on and off is just a huge pain in the ass, let’s be real.

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But of course, there are always two sides. Sometimes girl want to be pretty, look pretty, feel pretty. For themselves. But sometimes they don’t. And that’s okay too, isn’t it? I think so. And I hate the pressure that comes from our society. And I HATE posts like “Go swimming at the first date to see the true face.” Like hell no, you don’t even deserve this date. You deserve nothing. Douche.

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I know, this is already a pretty long post and I could rant on and on, but I don’t want this to be too much for you, so I’ll just cut down on the next few things. There are other things that kinda piss me off. The fact that there are still gender specific topics and jobs and expectations. Girls can be pretty AND intelligent. Girls can work as much as men and yes, they should earn the same amount of money (can somebody please fix that finally???). And girls can be into the same things as men. That doesn’t make them manly or something. We are girls. And we can wear whatever we want, do whatever we want and we should feel free to live free. As much as every other human should feel like.

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So yeah, that’s my rant. Actually, I wanted this to be a funny post thingy, but I think it just turnt into some kind of feminism rant, which is pretty cool too. Please notice that any of the things that I just said can be switched for men too and also for the whole LGBT community. I think that we are all humans, we are all the same and we should all be equally valuable, no matter what we do, who we love, which body we have or where we live. We are all beautiful. Let’s embrace this beauty. Oh and can somebody please stop this girls having a period thing? Because I certainly didn’t sign up for this. Thanks.

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I hope you enjoyed this post and if any of you want to talk about anything and everything, feel free to hit me up. And until then, thanks for reading. x