The body story

Hola everyone.

Todays post will get a little bit long, excuse me for that, because I want to talk about something really important, which are the two topics health and body image over all, mostly body positivity. Two weeks ago I watched a video of the YouTuber Arden Rose about her body acceptance journey, in which she talked about her story with her body and the body image in this world – I’ll leave link down below – and she just inspired me. And I started to think about my story with my own body and I got so “emotional” and stuck up in my own thoughts and I just thought that I had to share it with you guys. Especially because I think it’s a really important to talk about, so here we go.


My story

So, let’s start with pure honesty. I know, you’re probably expecting a sad story how I starved myself or something like that, but actually, like years ago I literally didn’t care about my body, like at all. I mean, not the way I do now. I mean, I have always been this shy person, that nobody really noticed –  which is something I’m actually starting to get rid of now – so there was never a real reason there for me to think about my appearance. Certainly, I wanted to look “good”, but I mean, I was really really small, didn’t know what to wear, ate what everybody else did and just had a lot of other things to care about.


Actually, the thing that people didn’t really look at me kind of always kept me like super down and I don’t know, maybe even sad. Because I wanted people to notice me. I mean, I’m a cheery, crazy, shrill person who loves talking and going places and that aspect of invisibility just stopped me from being that kind of person. And yeah, I was like 14, so.


I think my whole body image, health sight, who-am-I thing started when I got into high school and social media became a part of my life. First of all, I was older then and let’s say wiser and I met people online, that I could identify with. People, who had the same thoughts as me, who liked the same things as me and people, who actually noticed me. And then I got onto tumblr and my whole how-do-I-look world started to build up. I noticed my love for fashion, started to buy magazines, googled styles and trends and just went shopping and actually paid attention to how I looked, what I bought, what I was wearing and how I felt in it.


To be honest, when I was like 16 or something like that, I don’t know what I was thinking but I literally looked like I had just dipped myself into rainbow paint. I wore like 20 different bracelets and shrill shirts with screaming bright colors. And I still remember this talk I had with my friend when we were waiting for the bus to arrive to go home from school. I just had adjusted all of my (probably) 100 bracelets and she looked at me and asked me if I really thought that I looked good and I still remember saying yes and the look on her face. This look that tells you that someone thinks you look horrible, like they would start laughing at you if you weren’t friends. Can you believe that this was like 5 years ago and I still remember it like it happened two weeks ago? There you can see how hurtful teenage girls can be. Shame on you. And yes, it bothered me so much that I slowly stopped wearing the bracelets and my shrill clothes, so yeah.


But there was also a good thing that happened after this talk. I swore myself that I never wanted to have someone look at me like that again. So I grew up, went a little more shopping, especially on holidays, googled some more, watched some more YouTube videos and stayed longer on tumblr than I probably should have and finally found my own style. And oh damn, did I get confident. The older I got, the more confidence I grew to that point that I actually thought that I looked pretty damn good, like hella on fire good.


And another thing that helped me was that I started to love my hair. I mean, you know from all of my pics that I have curly hair, naturally curly hair. And oh god, how I hated it. I never knew what to do with it or how to handle it and all the other girls had straight hair and I wanted to look like everybody else so I straightened it too. God was I stupid. Thank god that I know much better today, again thanks to YouTube. Today I love my hair to death, I embrace it as much as I can. I can’t even remember the last time I straightened it, to be honest. My hair was always a big thing for me and today it’s an aspect that gives me a lot of confidence and makes me stand out of the crowd and I just love it.


So today, I am more confident than ever. I really love my body and I think everyone should do that, because your body is an actual temple, so you should take good care of it. And I think that as long as you feel good in it, every kind of body looks awesome. I mean, I’m pretty slim, let’s call it that. That’s something I got from my mum, who’s like stick thin. But I was never that kind of girl who worked out. I mean, I tried it for some time, but let’s be honest, there are a lot of better things to do in your free time. I love going for a walk with Molly and for like two years or something like that I had this daily routine of doing some kind of belly workout so I would get a flat stomach, which actually really did work out. And I mean, yes, I am thin. And yes, you can see my collarbones, but that doesn’t mean that I’m like unhealthy or something. That’s just the body I have. And I loved doing my workouts because I slowly got some abs and I looked at myself and felt so proud, I still feel that way today, although I only work out like once a week for a few minutes. I think it really depends on yourself and how you feel like. Your own opinion and your feelings matter and not what other people say or think. Other peoples opinions are literal trash, let’s be honest. Only yours matter, okay?


The last thing that really helped me a lot of building up my body image and my self-consciousness is food. My mum is nutritionist and works with people and their diets every single day, so there was no way of me getting around the importance of food. Oh, and furthermore she’s been a vegetarian since she was 16 and now calls herself a vegan (if you cut out on the chocolate and cheese, there and then), so yeah, I think you get the idea of what I mean. There was this time when I actually checked the calories of every single item I ate and I used to count all of it to see how much I had eaten in one day. I mean, I don’t think or remember that stopping me from eating what I wanted to eat, but I still had calories and fat in my head every day. And thank god that time passed.


You probably already know what I’m going to say now. Yes, I don’t eat any meat, not at all. It kind of happened in slow motion. Mum always wanted me to be vegetarian. But as the stubborn person I am, I told her that I’d do what I want and eat what I want. Which means that I basically myself changed my eating habits. I can’t remember the last time I ate meat or drank milk. I mean, I’m not a vegetarian. I eat fish, cheese, chocolate and so on. But I’m talking about small dimensions and portions here, I eat it, but not much. And I care about my food. I pay attention to what I’m buying and eating, if it’s organic or not, if it contains any artificial substances that could be bad for my health, and if its production harms the environment or not. I mean, nowadays we all know how much we and our eating habits damage our beautiful mother earth. And we only have one, so I don’t get why we do that. Like in moments people tell me that they can’t live without eating meat every day. Did you even ever think about how much pain these animals go trough? We aren’t meant to eat cows, pigs or whatever. We never were and never will. And still we think that we can do whatever we want. We don’t, just to make that clear. And all of you guys, young people like me, are those who have to take care of our planet and take it back into recovery. We are responsible. And it’s scientifically proven that changing to a plant-based diet is literally just good for you and your body, it’s healthy. So why not live without the meat every day?Changing my diet really helped me, at least I think so. And I think it would help you guys too. Just try it, for two weeks or so and then check out the results (oh and please tell me about them, I’m really curious).


So, what’s important?

Getting that body image I have now took me a long time. First I didn’t care about it at all and then I got older and everything changed. I started to dress the way I wanted to, began to workout and worked on my eating habits. And today I really like myself and my body. And I’m healthy, I don’t even remember the last time I was ill (thank god). I mean, I don’t look like some kind of Victorias Secret model, but I like they way I look. And I love the way I dress. Whenever I wear something I really like, I get a huge confidence boost and I’m thankful for that. Of course I have my flaws, everyone does. But I think it’s important to even love your flaws. Because nobody is perfect, but everyone is beautiful.


I know this post got really lengthy, but it was really important for me to talk about this. I want you guys to know that you are all beautiful, please don’t let anyone tell you something else. They are wrong, trust me. And please take care of yourself. Stay healthy, exercise some more, eat food that makes you feel good, don’t hate on your body, you only have this one, and please don’t compare yourself to other people.


I want to end this post with a quote of Oscar Wilde I found in Copenhagen on a postcard:

“Be yourself. Everybody else is taken.”

Please feel free to have a healthy discussion in the comment section if you want to and if any of you want to talk to me about anything and everything, I’m here, always. And until then, I hope you liked this post, and thanks for reading. x


Arden’s video: link

Say something

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: