sad – that lemon life

A Life to Remember

Hola everyone.

You guys can probably guess by looking at the title picture… Today’s post is going to a be a bit different than my others, but I think that this is the right thing to do and I just really want to share this.

So, three days ago we lost one of the best musicians and biggest names in music out there – Tim Bergling aka Avicii. And while typing this, reading it, black on white, I’m still unable to fully process it. This has to be a very very bad dream, surely…

I actually got the notification from a friend. Just these four words: Laura. Avicii is dead. And suddenly everything fell silent. She also sent me a link to a Variety article about it, but it sent me over to one of these pages where they just throw ads over ads at you, the ones that scream virus. And there was this small piece of hope inside me that thought “oh my god, that surely has to be a fake, that page doesn’t even work”. And then I looked at Twitter and there it was. His name. Right at the top of the trending topics list. And from that moment on I just stood there, looking out of the window and searching the internet for the truth. I looked at postings after postings from the EDM world telling the world and Tim’s family their condolences. Martijn, David Guetta, The Chainsmokers and so many more. And I just stood there with nothing to say. Eventually the tears started rolling down my face and I just let them. I was so hurt…

And I know that it’s a bit weird to feel that broken because a musician died that I never knew personally. I understand why people would think it’s weird, as he probably was just another DJ for many. But I don’t just listen to music. I always create a bond between the musician or band and myself. And Tim wasn’t any different.

Tickets to his concert were the birthday present for my 18th birthday. He was the first headliner I saw at my very first festival (Sziget). I listened to his albums over and over again, while studying, reading, doing maths, whatever. As soon as I tiptoed into the EDM world, I fell completely in love with him and his music. He eventually became a huge part of the soundtrack to my life. He was the one who got me into this amazing, unbelievably fantastic music genre. Without him I would have probably never got to know Martijn. I have so much to thank him for and now I’ll never be able to show that, express that to him and it’s making me so so sad.

I still remember his show at Sziget like it was yesterday. I remember waiting for hours at the same spot, just so we could see him and have a good view. Just so we could enjoy his show to its fullest. And I still remember how happy he looked and what he said at the end of the show. He thanked us for being there and said that coming here, he didn’t really know what to expect but that this was one of the best shows ever and that he’s so happy. And that made me so happy. I felt so special to be able to experience that. He decided to quit touring and go on a hiatus shortly after that, but I would have never thought that this show should be my last time of seeing him. But I’m so so so freaking happy that I got to see him those two times, I can’t even describe it. His shows were literally the biggest and best parties ever. I’m just really sorry that we’ll never be able to hear and see more from him. It breaks my heart to see someone so special go at such a young age. Someone who still had pretty much their whole life waiting for them.

Right now I’m sitting at home, wrapped in a big blanket, listening to his songs and writing this while tears are rolling down my cheeks. But that’s how Tim will live on forever – because of and through his music. So many people adored him because of his ability of creating such amazing pieces of music and that love for his music will live on. He never failed to amaze the world and even though he’s gone, he still hasn’t left fully. He never will.

To put this to an end, I want to use my blog as a platform and way of thanking Avicii for everything he’s done:

Tim, I don’t really know how to put it into words. Thank you so much for all you’ve done. You were the one that got me into EDM and the one who brought me into this world of music and I will forever be grateful for that. You will forever be a part of the playlist of my life and I will forever keep you in my heart. I will miss you. Like crazy.

“One day you’ll leave this world behind. So live a life you will remember.”

Tim Bergling – Avicii (1989/2018)

Please Like Me

Hola everyone.

No, this post won’t be about me begging you guys to like me – which I hope you do. Today I’ll be talking about a tv series I finished lately called – you guessed it – “Please Like Me”. And I loved it so much that I thought I’d introduce it to you.

To be honest, I can’t even exactly tell you what the show is about without spoiling some parts of the plot, but I’ll try my best:

“Please Like Me” is about the life of Josh – a 20-year-old guy – who discovers that he’s gay right at the beginning of the first episode due to the fact that his girlfriend tells him and breaks up. After that shocker he finds out that his mum tried to kill herself and he now has to help her and his family deal with her depression. And let’s not forget his dad who divorced from Josh’s mum and now hides his girlfriend from her.All while exploring his new found sexuality, hooking up with hot boys and living in an apartment together with his best friend Tom and his annoying girlfriend who wouldn’t just leave. Oh and his absolutely adorable dog John.

So yeah, that’s pretty much it. But let me tell you, we just touched the surface of the show and there’s so much more to it. I found the show on Netflix and just got curious, so I tried it out. I wasn’t really prepared to find such a cute, brutally honest, comedic tv series. Actually it’s an Australian comedy drama series and when you get to the very end of the show you slowly realize why it’s described as a drama too. But I don’t want to spoil anything. I guess you just have to find out yourself.

Overall I would describe the show as a vacation for the mind. Every little episode just brings joy, despite the drama aspect. What I loved about it the most is the style and the humor of the show and how it deals with aspects like homosexuality, mental illness, and relationships. It’s brutally honest. It doesn’t try to hide anything or make it look like there’s beauty in suicide or breakups, because there simply isn’t. And that’s what makes it so special. And apart from that the humor is seriously the best. Honestly, all the characters are quite insane. Like, who let’s his girlfriend wait in the car for hours just because he doesn’t want his ex-wife to know? How weird is that? And you sit there and all of these strange situations happen and you watch it and think “oh my god, how is this really happening? They are crazy, completely crazy”. And then you just have to laugh. Because it’s so weird and awkward and honest that it becomes funny. I’d describe it as some kind of British humor, again really honest and weird, but still amazing. And let’s be honest, the acting is mind-blowing. The characters just seem so real, they feel like real people. Which they are. Personally, I’d say that this show is better at dealing with and talking about suicide and mental illness than 13 Reasons Why, which just turns the fault to all the other characters. I’ve never seen a show as real as Please Like Me.

And actually the series is mostly written by Josh Thomas, who plays Josh. He’s an Australian comedian and with that show, I think he created a total masterpiece. For me, this show was an emotional rollercoaster and I enjoyed it so much, I was really sad that it had to end. So I can just really recommend it to any of you guys, please give it a go. And don’t hesitate to ask me about it. And if you watch it or already have seen it, I’d be superhappy to hear from you. And until then I hope you enjoyed this post and wish you all an amazing week. And, as always, thanks for reading. x

A Monster Calls

Hola everyone.

As you can see from the title of this post, today we’re going back to our movie-fan-roots. I recently watched the movie “A Monster Calls” and I thought I’d share my experience with you.

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To be honest, I didn’t really quite know what the movie was honestly about until I watched it. I mean, I was literally drawn to it still. I watched the trailer as soon as it was out and I was already in tears afters those two minutes. But I only had an idea of what it was about. So here’s a little description:

“A Monster Calls” is about 13 year old Conor who’s mum is having a hard time fighting against cancer. His dad left the family when Conor was little, his grandma doesn’t really seem to like him that much and the other guys are bullying him at school. So you could say that Conors life is pretty tough too. That changes when one night, seven minutes after midnight, the big yew tree next to their house suddenly comes alive and turns into a monster. The monster wants to tell Conor three stories. And after that, Conor has to tell him a fourth story, his truth, the nightmare he’s trying to hide. The one thing Conor never wanted to face. (Here’s the link to the trailer if you want to watch it – youtube.com)

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Sounds amazing, doesn’t it? I went to watch the movie with my mum – of course – because honestly I wouldn’t have been able to watch it with anybody else. I would have just sat there, screaming inside “oh my goooood, I want to be with my mum, NOOOOW!!!”. But this way I had her right there sitting next to me and I could cuddle my face into her while the tears were rolling down my cheeks.

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For me, the movie is a pure masterpiece. It completely draws you into the story from the first second on and it breaks your heart into a million pieces, but somehow the pain also heals you. I especially liked the artistic style of the movie, as all the stories the monster tells are drawn in water colours. It’s magnificent to watch.

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In my opinion, what matters the most and what keeps you awake, thinking about the movie over and over again, is the ending.

If any of you haven’t seen the movie, beware, spoilers ahead.

As you can probably tell, the movie ends the exact way you think it will end. Conors mum just wasn’t strong enough to fight, the medicine didn’t work the way they had planned and everyone knows she won’t make it. After the monster tells the third story, it’s Conors turn. But he doesn’t want to tell it, to face the truth, his truth. But at one point he simply has to. And that’s when we get the reminder that we are all just human. Conor simply wants it all to end, his pain, the stress, just everything. Also if it means he has to let his mother go. I think at this part the monster tells Conor the exact thing he and also we, the audience, need to hear: “You were merely wishing for the end of pain… Your own pain. An end to how it isolated you. It is the most human wish of all.”

Conor understands whats going to happen and that it’s not his fault and although he doesn’t want to, he has to let his mum go. In the last few moments, Conor holds his mum and the monster is with him. Then we see his mum looking up and smiling at the monster, which means that she can see it too. Conors mum then passes away, seven minutes after midnight.

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At the very end of the movie Conor comes back to his grandmas house, who has prepared a room for him. He goes in and finds a book on his desk, a book that seems to be his mums art book (she wanted to study art). Conor opens the book and finds paintings of the three stories the monster had told him. And right on the last page he finds a painting of his mum sitting on the shoulder of the monster.

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Personally, I think this end leaves you enough space for interpretation. For me, his mum together with the monster and her seeing it before her death means that she also met it when she was younger and struggled with the death of her father. And now that Conor is struggeling too, the monster is visiting him. What a cute way to end such a dramatic, heartbreaking movie.

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Apart from the beauty of the whole movie, my favorite and most emotional scene has to be when Conor and his mum have the “talk”. She knows she’s going to die and leave Conor alone. And he’s angry at her. But she understands him. And while tears are rolling down her cheeks she says: “It’s okay that you’re angry. I’m angry too, and if you need to break things, by god you break them. I wish I had 100 years, 100 years I could give to you.” That scene literally broke my heart into a billion pieces. And again I was so damn glad that mum was with me. I would’ve really needed her at that moment.

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Overall, the movie is a complete masterpiece. And I would recommend it to anyone at every age. Just keep in mind that you won’t walk out of the cinema with a smile on your face. It really hurts, but somehow the pain feels good. The movie breaks you and then cuddles you into a warm blanket full of emotions. It’s overwhelming, but in a good way.

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If any of you have seen or read it, what do you think? And how do you interpret the end? I’d be really happy to read from you. And until then I hope you liked this post and, as always, I hope you’re all doing well and thanks for reading. x