happiness – Page 17 – that lemon life

Oh my god

Hola everyone.

I can just repeat myself over and over again. Oh my god. Oh my freaking god. Guys. You’re not going to believe what happened in Amsterdam. Seriously. I myself am still so deep in shock, it’s overwhelming. But let me start at the beginning before I get a heart attack.

Okay, so, as some of you may know, my friend and I flew to Amsterdam last Thursday for ADE (Amsterdam Dance Event), mainly to see Martijns show on Friday. And usually I’d start off this series by telling you all about the beautiful Amsterdam and showing you the pictures I took, but I’m literally too freaking excited to keep this to myself any longer. I just have to tell you guys, really. And just to warn you, this post will feature quite a lot of me fangirling and freaking out, so read at your own risk. And please enjoy. Seriously. I can’t freaking believe I really get to tell you all of this. I’m so damn happy.

So, as already mentioned Martijns show was on Friday. It was my third time seeing Martijn in a matter of three years – let’s say I already can’t wait for next year. And the reason for us flying to Amsterdam and not to any of his other shows was actually the show in Amsterdam itself. I knew the show because as the fan I am, I watched the whole livestream of his show last year. And that included jumping around in front to my TV until 4 am in the morning. And goddammit, was it worth it. And as I was sitting on my couch at the end, happy tears glistening in my eyes and my heart racing, I thought to myself “one day I’ll see this live, one day”. But who would have guessed that one day meant a year afterwards? Not me, to be honest. Actually I’m still so baffled that this really happened. That I really flew to Amsterdam and went to Martijns show. It’s so unreal.

For me, Friday was just about counting down the hours until I’d be seeing him. The show was scheduled to start at 10 pm in the evening and last until 6 am in the morning (holy moly), with Martijn playing from half past one until 4 am. That’s 2 and a half hours of pure heaven for me.

So, half an hour before 10 pm we made our way to the venue. Thank god our hotel we were staying at had the best location ever, so the RAI, the venue, was only about 15 minutes away. Saying that I was really excited would be such an understatement, no joke. I was literally jumping around my friend with the biggest smile on my face. My heart was racing. After getting to the venue we immediately got into the queue and I got a little bit worried. I mean, not to be dramatic or anything, but Dutch are freaking tall. Holy moly. My tiny self standing behind all those tall ass men and women, not even being able to see the entrance. I knew that if we wouldn’t be able to get a spot right at the front or behind some magical dwarfs, I wouldn’t be able to see Martijn at all. So yeah, I got a teeny tiny scared.

And then we got into the venue and immediately starting ticking off our to-do-list. I wanted to buy merch, we wanted to put our stuff into a locker and then we had to look out for a good spot. First thing was merch, of course I had to buy some, especially as Martijns merch is more like a clothing line on itself and not just a shirt with his name and symbol on. I chose to treat myself a little bit and bought his new jumper, which if I’m correct is his newest piece of merch and basically clothing heaven. It may have been a little bit on the pricey side but oh well. I’m literally going to live in this the whole winter, so it was really worth it.

After that we secured our stuff and got into the venue. And holy moly, what a huge building. At first we went straight for the stage one of his support acts was playing on already but I thought that that could never be Martijns stage. And then I saw it, the stage we were meant to head for. His stage. What a beauty.

So we got closer and closer and closer and then, and I’m not joking, we were suddenly right at the barrier in the front row. Can you believe this? Front row!!! We seriously managed to get into the front row at one of Martijns biggest shows. The show in his own hometown. And let’s get this straight, Martijn has this kind of fans that wait for hours just to see him. If I would have expected anything to happen, it would surely never have been this. I still can’t quite handle it. First freaking row right next to the stage. So crazy. During the three hours we waited for him, we sat against the barrier and I once in a while had to jump up and look at the stage to realize it. I freaked out every single time.

And then, at half past 1 in the morning (what a crazy time to start a show), it was finally time. I think I went into trance the moment he walked up the stage, basically because we were just a few meters apart. I know, at that point I had already seen him twice, but being so close and being able to take everything in, his mimic, his moves, the way he works and plays his music, is something completely different. It’s mesmerizing, to be honest. And let me tell you something, this guy and his team work their asses of before and at these shows. Seriously. It’s the biggest party ever.

And of course the show was mind-blowing, as always. I truly loved every single second of it and although he played for two and a half hours, he could have gone on for another few hours in my opinion. I just didn’t want him to stop. Ever. And I don’t really know why, but somehow being at his shows and experiencing it all live lifts all the weight off my shoulders. Like, I think those are the hours I feel the freest in my life. At those moments it’s just him, his music and me. The rest of the world is gone and with it all my worries and troubles and thoughts. I scream my lungs out, sing every single lyric like it’s the last time and dance like I’ve never danced before. Now you should know that I usually never dance when I’m not alone, so getting me to dance for more than two hours really means a lot. You know, it’s not just that I enjoy being in his presence so much that make this kind of shows so special for me. It’s everything combined. The music, Martijn, the crowd, the production, everything. It’s pure heaven for me. And means hundred percent happiness. The shows are literally like my own personal drug and right now I’m on a cold turkey and it’s driving me insane. I need more.

Apart from that Martijn is literally the cutest sunshine ever. He sometimes had a camera behind him and then turned around and did a heart sign and smiled so brightly, it was like the sun just moved from the sky into the venue and was lighting up the whole room. And during the show he actually pointed at people in the crowd until they looked at him and then he did both a heart sign and put his hands together as a sign for saying thank you. I mean, how freaking cute is that? Who does that? He literally said thank you a hundred times.

I recently read an interview he did with Nylon Magazine (here’s the link: nylon.com), in which they asked him what he is looking for in an artist he is watching himself and he said this:

“I just want to see that the artist is enjoying themselves. I don’t like it if an artist is on stage, giving this attitude, like, “I don’t give a fuck who you guys are. I’m getting paid.” I like it if I see an artist generally enjoying the show. It makes me enjoy the show a million times more. They have to care.”

And that’s like so me. And describes him perfectly too. Because the moment he goes up on stage until he leaves again, Martijn makes you feel so appreciated. You can really see and feel that he enjoys and loves what he’s doing and that he’s grateful. And I think that’s so important. And it basically makes me love him even more.

So yeah, the show continued and I was so so so happy. And then he played his last song, In The Name Of Love, and I’m just going to be honest now, yes, I cried. If you ever get to experience this song live, you’ll know why. It’s literally the most beautiful part of the show, as Martijn let’s the crowd sing and thousands of people singing with him standing on his pult, smiling from ear to ear with his hands up in the air forming a heart, that’s just pure magic. You could really feel the love in the whole room.

And after playing this song he went off stage. Watse, his manager, came up and they hugged – I’m so happy that I got to see him too – and Louis, his photographer, hugged him too and then he was gone. Actually, due to the fact that I watched the lifestream last year and saw that he went down to the crowd at the end, I was kind of expecting him to do that again, but yeah, he was gone. But I was an emotional wreck anyway.

So I turned to my friend, happy tears in my eyes and suddenly there was a huge uproar and I turned around and there he was, jumping down from the stage with his security guys. And from that moment on, I can’t really remember anything else than looking at him. I don’t know how I got this amazing spot at the front, I don’t know who was standing next to me and I didn’t even notice that another DJ was already playing again. The moment I saw him the world was literally gone. First I need to tell you that, no, I didn’t get a picture or anything, but I don’t even care. Luckily for me he knew the girl standing left to me – I guess she has a fan account, because he knows those -, so he stopped and stood there for maybe 5 seconds but for me it lasted for hours. I probably looked like the craziest freak ever, I was so shocked. Thank god he didn’t fully look at me, he would have probably thought I’m the biggest weirdo ever.

Like, can you believe this? Martijn was literally half a meter away from me. I still can’t cope with the fact that I got to look into his eyes and see his beautiful smile up close. That’s just too unreal for me.

He was down with the crowd for less than a minute but it seemed like an hour for me. After stopping in front of me he proceeded to the very end of the line, taking pictures with fans and hugging some of them. I remember that I suddenly heard someone talking over the speakers and saw that it was actually him. I don’t know how but he suddenly had a mic in his hand and was jumping around with the crowd, hyping us up for Brooks, who was playing at that moment. And he looked so happy. I just stood there, admiring him and his amazing smile. All I could think and say was oh my god. That was everything I was able to articulate at that moment. I didn’t even notice the pain in my ribs as people were pushing me into the metal barriers. And I didn’t care, to be honest.

And can I just say this? He is so goddamn beautiful. Like, not just good looking. He truly is beautiful and I’m so damn thankful for everything he does and for every single time he puts a smile on my face. After he was gone I turned around to my friend and literally threw myself into her arms, happy tears streaming down my face and my whole body shaking all over. At that very moment, I felt like the happiest person in the whole universe. I think it took me about 15 minutes to calm down, I was so shocked – but in a good way, the best, actually.

I was momentarily deaf, my voice was gone and my body was numb. In short, I was completely done. And so damn happy. We then walked home to our hotel and I literally couldn’t stop talking and smiling and laughing. I think if I took drugs, I would only be half as hyped up as I was at that moment. It still makes my heart race and my eyes light up in happiness when I think and talk about it. So you can probably guess how happy I am feeling right now.

So yeah, there you go guys. That’s what happened last Friday and basically one of the happiest nights of my life. I still haven’t fully realized that this seriously happened. It’s like a dream come true. And I know, some of you may think “oh, what a crazy fangirl”, but you know what? Yes, I am a fangirl. And it’s literally turned me into the happiest person ever. I know, society has different thoughts when I comes to that. I’m used to people thinking that I’m weird for admiring someone who’s so out of reach, but honestly, at the end of the day, I listen to a song or watch a short video and get a huge smile on my face and a bubbly feeling in my stomach and that’s what matters. At least that’s what matters the most to me.

I recently came across a tweet by the account “vodkawithjacob” that perfectly sums up my thoughts: “you know… i will never regret being a fangirl even though its probably the reason why ive never had a boyfriend or a social life and people think im weird but i dont care bc while being a fangirl i’ve had the greatest moments of my life and the best friendships i could wish for”

And you know what, that’s so true. I will never ever regret being a fangirl. I get to feel emotions I would never be able to feel otherwise. And I get to travel to places and meet people I would never see or meet in any other way. Right now my heart is so full of happiness and love and you know, I’m so damn thankful for that. Martijn is a literal sunshine and he makes my world light up and I seriously can’t wait to see him again.

So, guys, there you have it. My happiness on a plate. I’m sorry that this post turned out to be so long, but I just had to tell you everything and get it off my chest. I hope you at least enjoy me babbling on about the things and people that make me happy. Have any of you ever been to Amsterdam or to one of Martijns shows? Do you like EDM? Please don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below. And until then I wish you all an amazing weekend and, as always, thank you so much for reading. x

Ps: I literally just scrolled through the pictures of Martijns show and oh my god guys. There is literally a picture online with me and him together. I mean, I’m blurred and all but you can clearly see me as I had my flashlight turned on – I forgot to turn it off – and I’m freaking out right now. You can even see my shocked face, even though I’m blurred. Oh my god.

Here’s the link: facebook.com

Being an optimist

Hola everyone.

You know, sometimes the world can be quite a shit place. And at times like these it’s more important than ever to keep spreading love, staying positive and focusing on the good sides of life and the world. That’s the life of an optimist.

I just had a conversation with my friend about this topic, due to the recent events in the USA (Trump, war, Charlottesville). And to be honest, it left us both pretty speechless. And just to mention it, we’re in 2017. Racism, sexism and homophobia and so many more things shouldn’t be a thing. And especially not praising a man who brought so much hate and death into this world. Actually, I don’t even know what to say. It’s really sad that I have to say anything at all. Hating on other people because of their skin color, their race or their origin. That’s just ridiculous. Seriously. If you want to hate on someone, hate on things like racism and nazism. For real. Can we please all just calm down for a little bit? We’re all the same. We are all humans, we all breath the same air and we’re all going to die. Why create differences that aren’t even there? Why? And don’t even get me started on Trump and this insane idea of a war. Please, just stop. Honestly.

Sorry, but that had to be said. But what I actually wanted to tell you is how important it is to stay positive. And how you can all actually manage to do that if the world is slowly breaking apart. I know it may sound stupid, but sometimes there’s no other way than going back into your own, safe bubble and staying there for a while. I would probably have a depression already if I didn’t love my bubble so much. I mean, some of you may say that’s quite ignorant, but here’s why: you know, if I see people getting hurt and people doing the most stupid and insane things that make me speechless, I can stay mad for the whole day, of course I can. But I’m sitting here, in the middle of nowhere, not able to do anything that would really change the situation immediately. All being mad does is create more anger. And the world doesn’t care if you’re mad. Sorry to say that, but there are greater problems.

So I try to kind of safe the planet in my own ways. I retweet important stuff on Twitter, talk to people about important issues I really care about, I make sure more people see that change is needed and most importantly, I try spreading happiness. I try spreading love. And by doing that, I may or may not make somebody smile or make them feel better and that makes the world a better place. Even just a little bit. I try doing what I love every single day. Because if I keep doing that, other people will follow me and maybe, one day, everything will be a little bit better. At least that’s what I’m hoping for.

I know it’s hard guys. I know at times like these it’s easy to loose all hope. But we can’t let that happen. Never. Because then all the sadness, hate and anger will win. And we don’t want that, do we? So, please, keep being happy. Keep being good. Keep doing good. And keep love in your hearts.

I know this post turned into something quite deep, but I just had to talk about this important topic, because, as I said, I try to keep doing what I love and try to spread some positivity and help and love and happiness. I hope it works. And that you enjoyed this post. Please don’t hesitate to talk to me if you want to chat or anything else. I’m here. And until then I wish you all an amazing week. And please stay positive. And, as always, thanks for reading. x

New Music Monday

Hola everyone.

Another Monday. Another start of a new week. And another list of amazing new music. As I’ve recently been adding more and more new music and new songs onto my list on Spotify, I thought I’d share the best ones with you guys.

First of all you guys know that I’m mostly into indie pop/rock songs, so my list basically only consists of indie music and indie bands like Cage The Elephant, Foster The People and Nothing But Thieves. Most of the songs are upbeat and happy, but of course I could never write a list of songs without adding one of Eds. But I’ll let the songs do the rest of the talking. I hope you like them, please enjoy.

Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

Forever Alone by Kakkmaddafakka

Fall by Ed Sheeran

Lotus Eater by Foster The People

Sorry by Nothing But Thieves

Atlantis by Seafret

Tuttifrutti by Phoenix

Favorite Liar by The Wrecks

So, there you go guys. Those are some of my favorite songs right now. Most of them are pretty new too, I’m really curious to see if some of you already know them. So please don’t hesitate to leave a comment down below. And until then I wish you all an amazing week and hope that you enjoyed this post. And, as always, thanks for reading. x

I did it

Hola everyone.

Okay, my mum did it. But hey, the outcome is the same. I seriously have tickets to see Ed. My Ed. Edward Christopher Sheeran. Basically the musical love of my life. And I still can’t believe it guys, oh my god.

First of all – have you got tickets too? If yes, oh my god, congrats. And if you don’t, go and check out the shows, some aren’t sold out yet. And there’s still the website twickets, you still have a chance of getting tickets there. Good luck.

And second, I’m currently listening to Divide and the tears are already streaming my down my face (actually Happier is playing at this exact moment and I’m more like ugly-crying). I seriously cannot tell you how happy I am that I’ll be seeing Ed. Even twice. How crazy is that? Holy moly. But first let’s talk about Saturday, the day. I woke up at like half past 10 to be ready for 11 o`clock when the tickets will be on sale. So, I was sitting there, in front of my laptop, on the edge of my nerves. I knew this one would be hard, really hard. And even harder because I knew that mum wouldn’t be able to buy tickets for me because she was on a gold tournament. So I was pretty much alone, apart from a friend, who was also trying to get tickets for us. And then it got 10:59 am and I got ready, refreshed the page and there it was, the crash. The whole site crashed. Of course I also tried to get tickets for other countries, just to make sure I’d really be able to see Ed. But those sites also crashed. Everything crashed. And I sat there, for more than a half hour. Nothing worked and I got more and more nervous with every second.

Then I tried to check for tickets in London. I always wanted to see Ed at Wembley, so this was a good plan B. And then I saw that Wembley was already sold out. And I got worried. Really worried. I had the feeling that other people were already grabbing tickets for Vienna and yeah, I can honestly say that I had a little breakdown. I was really scared. I mean, I could not not see Ed. That was no option. Never.

And then mum texted me and asked if I was able to get tickets. And I of course told her no. And suddenly she texted me and told me that she had tickets for us. And a minute later I got the confirmation email. And if I didn’t cry before that, I cried then. Oh my god, I was so relieved. I seriously still can’t believe it. And you know what’s the coolest part? My mum actually got tickets while playing golf. She told me she got the tickets, shot the ball and then proceeded to pay for them. And while she literally got us the best tickets while playing golf, I sat in front of my laptop, unable to do anything. Thank god the servers seemed to work from then on, so I tried to get tickets for my friend and at around 1 pm, I could finally shut my laptop.

And then I checked Stuart Camps twitter page. He’s Ed’s manager and pretty much the coolest and most amazing manager ever. He answered questions throughout the sale and still does, actually. And if you ever want to have news about Ed first hand, you just have to follow him. And as Ed’s shows sold out so fast, Stu started adding more and more shows. And I was so shocked. Like, speechless, really. Because before anything had happened Ed was said to play two shows at Wembley. He now plays four. FOUR. That’s about 360.000 people. Can you believe that? He sold out Wembley for four shows. An English guy with his guitar and a loop station. That’s crazy. And I’m so proud. Really.

And then it happened. Stu was tweeting again and then this came: “2nd Austria show going up soon”. And you can probably guess what happened then. I freaked out. Completely. A second show? In Vienna? A chance to see Ed two times? I thought I was dreaming. Imagining things. Crazy. But it was real. So I called and texted people, asking them if they would go to the second show with me. And at 3 pm, I had the tickets for two shows. And I’m still at the edge of bursting into tears every second because of it.

I’m so thankful. God. And you know what, my mum bought both tickets, for both shows. So I would never be sitting here, writing the things I’m writing, without her. And her ability of doing the impossible and getting tickets for the most-wanted-shows. She’s a superwoman. There’s no denying that now. So yeah, thank you to my mum. My hero.

So yeah, I am now seeing Ed in 393 days (yes, I installed a countdown) and I can’t wait. For real. Can time please hurry up? Please? Oh, and I can’t wait to get the tickets. I think that will be the moment I’ll finally realize it and then cry until I have no more happy-tears left. And before I forget it, I want to thank Ed’s management and whoever made those two shows possible. And of course Ed for making me so happy and being in this world, basically. I know it’s getting pretty cheesy now, so I’ll stop.

Anyways, guys, that is my story. But what’s yours? I really hope that you got tickets if you wanted them. And if you didn’t, I hope you will manage to get some. I actually saw that they are constantly adding shows, so just keep an eye on Stu’s twitter page, that’s my tip. And until that, I hope you enjoyed this post and I wish you all amazing week. And, as always, thanks for reading. x

Concerts and more concerts

Hola everyone.

Today is the day. I think I don’t really have to explain to you how much I love going to concerts, we have talked about that often enough. You could say I’m pretty much addicted, but hey, it could be worse, right? So, while being on my “blog-break” to focus on my exams, I actually had the chance of seeing two of my favorite bands live – Paramore and The 1975.

This was actually the first time for me to ever see Paramore live and I can’t even begin to tell you how excited I was to finally experience their show. Because judging from the videos I watched of them playing live, it would be freaking amazing. And to be honest, it was even better than I expected. I was and still am totally blown away. Honestly, I usually never really listening to girl bands or bands with female singers, but Paramore always had a special place in my heart. And now that I could experience their magic live and hear Hayley’s voice, I’m even more in love with them and their music.

It’s unreal how good they are at playing their songs live. From the first second on built up this incredible dynamic, the whole crowd screamed their lungs out and jumped around like crazy. They started of with one of their newest songs called “Told You So” and then continued with a mix of old and new songs. And even though I pretty much only listen to their new stuff, I couldn’t help but freak out at every single song they played. I think my favorite part was when they played “Still Into You”. I love this song with every cell of my body and every single piece of my soul, so there was no holding me back when they started it. I don’t remember a to of other situations where I screamed and sang that loud and with such great passion. And I wasn’t the only one.

You know, that’s why I love concerts so much, especially rock concerts like this one or Fall Out Boy. The music is so loud, everyone is screaming and singing and jumping around and you can just let yourself fall completely and get lost in the moment. That’s when I can really be free.

And apart from that I loved when they brought fans on stage to play “Misery Business” with them. Before bringing them up Hayley told us that this time was going to be special as there was a fan out in the crowd who had written to them on Twitter and wished to play with them. Of course I was expecting just another guy to come on stage, but what happened next really surprised me. We started cheering and suddenly there was this guy called Viktor, rolling on stage in his wheelchair, with the biggest smile on my face. And then it all became real. Hayley went up to him and handed him the mic. He then proceeded to talk to the crowd and what he said brought real tears to my eyes. He said that this was the happiest moment of his life and this was the sign that anything is possible. God, it was so emotional. Then they brought another girl on stage and started playing the song again. And everyone was so happy, you could really feel it in the air. I am forever thankful for that moment and that night. I will never ever forget it. And I seriously cannot wait to see them again.

Yeah, the second concert, as already mentioned, was The 1975. And actually my 4th time seeing them. And I guess four times are a little bit too much, as I was a little bit disappointed. Maybe it was because they only played for one hour and a few minutes, maybe because I couldn’t feel any emotions coming up. I don’t really know. I just wasn’t feeling it. Even though I still love their music with all of my heart, especially their old songs. I just don’t love their new album, I guess that was one of the struggles of mine that evening. My friend who was at the concert with me said that she had the feeling that it seemed like the band wasn’t really happy to be here. I think that’s why I couldn’t sense any emotions.

So yeah, two concerts, one more than breathtakingly good, the other one a little bit disappointing. Of course I am still happy that I could experience both of them and I guess there can’t always be perfect concerts. That would be boring, wouldn’t it? But please don’t hesitate to leave your opinion down below.

Speaking of concerts, I forgot telling you one of the most amazing things ever. I can’t really remember if I told you about this last year, but I’ll tell you anyway. So, every year in October there is a EDM festival taking place in Amsterdam for a whole week. And last year, Martin had a show there too (pretty obvious as he actually lives there). I got to watch it live over a stream but while jumping around in front of my TV, I made it my mission to once experience this live. And guess what, I actually will this year. I know, how crazy, right? Lucky me I could tell one of my friends into wanting to come with me and experience this big, incredible party together. We bought our tickets two weeks ago, I know have it hanging on my door so I can always remind myself of what amazing things are coming up. God, I’m so excited.

Oh, and another thing. Tomorrow is the day. Ed’s tickets will be going on sale at exactly 11 o’clock and I’m already slightly freaking out. Please guys, please pray for me to be able to get tickets. Please. I need to see Ed. I really do. Oh, and if any of you will be trying their luck too tomorrow, good luck. I know we can do it. We just need a lot of hope and a good internet connection. And until then, I hope you enjoy this post and my little concert stories and I wish you all an amazing weekend. And, as always, thanks for reading. x

Bloom

Hola everyone

The weather is warmer, the sun is shining, shorts are allowed and the world gets a little bit more colorful day bay day – that’s what summer is about. Don’t you love it? Because I certainly do. And I can see that every single day when I’m at home and look outside into our garden.

Since the past weeks the garden has been a big project for my parents, especially my mum. We recently got a greenhouse and now that summer is here, literally everything in our garden is blooming. And because I think everything looks so pretty, I thought I’d quickly grab my camera and take some pictures. I hope you like them.

Ih and besides that I hope you’re all doing well. And I wish you an amazing weekend. Actually life is quite stressful for me right now, you can probably guess why. Yep, it’s exam season. My favorite season of all (caution: sarcasm). I can’t wait for the 27th, half past 8 in the evening, then everything will be okay again. Hopefully. So, if any of you are in the same position as me, I wish you all the luck for your exams. When can do it guys, I know it. And, as always, thanks for reading. x