Never have I ever…

Hola everyone.

Never have I ever had a date… I haven’t.

There it is. I have never had a date with a boy before, never. And yeah, for a nearly 20 year old girl like me that’s pretty strange, at least when it comes to what most of the people in my surroundings think.

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To be honest, I’ve stopped thinking that it’s weird, but I went through some tough times because I thought that it was strange. That I was strange. And that it was all my fault. I thought that I wasn’t pretty enough or not cool enough or whatever damn thing you need to be in order to get a boy to like you. And I can tell you, it’s really not a nice feeling to always think that you’re not good enough for anyone. It makes you question yourself all the time. It makes you think that whatever you’re wearing or the way you have your hair or the amount of makeup you use is just wrong. In that moment, everything about yourself is just plainly wrong and all you wish for is to be like all the other girls who either have dates or already a boyfriend.

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I’ve never felt more like an outsider than in those years in which the feeling or, to be honest, the strong urge to finally get a boy to like me destroyed me completely. I was sad all the time, cried because I felt alone and unloved and I hated nothing more than the pitiful looks I got from my friends and classmates and the same damn question “Laura, when are you finally going to have a boyfriend?”. I DON’T KNOW?! Oh and let’s not forget the even more stupid answer to that “You need to go out more”. NO I DON’T!?

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When I look back at those times, I just realize how stupid I was. I really believed them and thought that going out, drinking alcohol, looking 5 years older, wearing short skirts that could be taken as a longer shirt, putting on faaaaar too much makeup and that wearing a bra that felt like a freaking corset that’s way too tight and small would help me get a boyfriend. I’m just happy that I only stuck to the makeup and bra part, because I hated all the other things too much to try them, not even for a guy.

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And today, about 5 years later, I’m still date- and boyfriendless and I’m still alive, who would have thought that? Not me, for sure, because the most accurate thing a girl, who just wants to be like all the other girls and have a boyfriend, can think, is, that she will surely die without a boy in her life. God, what was I thinking? Seriously.

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If I could talk to younger me now, I would tell myself that everything’s going to be fine, just fine, even without a immature boy in her life. And NO, it’s not her fault, it never was. Because if a boy really likes her and wants to be with her, he will like every part about her, no matter if she likes to go out and party or would chose to watch a good movie over that any time. And if he isn’t able to or doesn’t want to do that, then he can go and “you-know-what” himself and go and find another girl to lower herself for him, because this girl here won’t do that for sure. Oh, and of course he doesn’t deserve her, not one single bit.

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So yeah, here I am, without an upcoming date or a huge crush on a boy who basically owns my head. And I can say that I’m truly happy about that. I’m pretty much on the edge of becoming an adult right now, just got into the second semester in college and my life is changing so fast and chances are upcoming every second I blink and I just wouldn’t be able to have a relationship right now. Of course, sometimes I’m lonely. Sometimes I dream about being in a cute relationship with my soulmate. But as the romantic I am, I know that there’s someone out there for me, who’s just waiting to complete me. And until we find each other, I’m more than damn happy to live this amazing life, which just keeps getting better and better and making me happier and thankfuller every day that I can’t even describe it anymore.

Thanks for reading. x

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Ps: If any of you are in the same “position” as me, feel free to talk to me. I’m here. Always. And please just know that there’s nothing wrong about not having a boyfriend yet. You will find THE ONE and you will be happier than ever and you will not be able to cope with all the love. But until then, just try to love yourself and gift the love to those people, who’ve always been in your life and who love you more than anything. They deserve it. Oh, and don’t forget to enjoy life. This is your moment. Make something of it.

My favorite YouTubers

Hola everyone.

I probably already mentioned it a few posts ago, but why not talk about it again? So, I love YouTube. Who doesn’t? The first months when I got from home from university and didn’t have any movie to watch, I looked onto YouTube and searched for some good YouTubers to binge. And I found them.

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Today I watch them pretty much every day, always depending on who just uploaded a new video. As you can probably guess by know, I want to dedicate this post to my favorite YouTubers, who have slowly become more than just people sitting in front of their cameras to me.

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Joe Sugg aka ThatcherJoe

Joe was the first YouTuber I watched on a regular basis, because I fell in love with his videos from the first second on. I’m a huge fan of his editing style and how natural he seems in his videos. Every video is full of humor and funny stupidity and to be honest, it seems he’d do literally everything just to make his “sugglets” happy – as you can see in his Dare Sugg videos. Furthermore, I love how diverse he is, as he has his regular channel where he posts a video every sunday – the so-called SuggSunday – and a gaming channel and also a vlogging channel, while he still strongly denies that he’s a daily vlogger.

My most favorite videos from him are probably the collabs, in which he either films the videos with one of his friends or his sister Zoe and they are always the funniest ones. Just to mention it, Joe’s clique is for sure the coolest one, as aaaaaall of his friends are YouTubers and Conor – my Conor – is of of his best mates, so I probably don’t have to say that I’m more than jealous.

And last but not least, I think Joe has a great personality and would be the best boyfriend ever, as he calls himself a total gentleman. Oh, and he’s really hot, don’t even start arguing with me about that.

Joe’s channel: youtube.com

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Will Darbyshire aka WillDarbyshireFilm

To be honest, Will is someone really special. If I had to describe his channel and videos, I would probably say that they’re the oasis full of beauty and creativity of YouTube. He’s completely different from all the other YouTubers I watch, because his videos consist either of him talking about deep personal stuff or it’s a video only made of the breathtaking pictures he takes when he’s traveling the world.

Even though I’ve only known Will for one or two months now, I immediately put him to my faves, because his videos really trigger something special in me – hope, creativity and all of that stuff. And when it comes to photography, Will is my biggest inspiration and idol. His videos and pictures are pure art in my eyes and my goal is to get close to his talent. Oh and in my opinion, I think if someone ever wanted to create a male version of me, Will would probably be the result, so that’s pretty cool.

Will’s channel: youtube.com

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Felix Kjellberg aka PewDiePie

Last but not least, here’s my third fave, PewDiePie. Who would’ve guessed it? I don’t even know where to start. Probably at the aspect that I’m a fan of the biggest YouTuber on this pretty planet and I can’t really articulate why.

The first thing that’s a little bit weird, is that I’m not even a gamer myself. I just love watching Pewds acting like a complete dork in front of the camera while playing one of the strangest games ever. So yeah, I think the fact that he makes me laugh every second is the most prominent reason for watching his videos. Apart of that I love how personal he is and how he interacts with his “bros”. He talks directly to his fans, asks question and seriously waits in his videos so that everyone has time to answer it for themselves in front of the laptop. Oh and he flirts with them with his endless winks and I can just say, even though he’s got a girlfriend, it’s really cute. It really gives you the feeling that he’s not just some kind of internet star who’s completely unreachable and unattainable. I really appreciate that, truly.

All in all, Pewds is crazy dork who likes to play even more crazy games and who’s biggest goal is to make his bros happy and to keep them as close as possible. And even though it might seem stupid to spent hours watching him playing games, I wouldn’t want to miss it, as he really puts a smile on my face every time.

Felix’s channel: youtube.com

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So yeah, there they are. My three favorite YouTubers. Of course I watch more than those three, for example Jack Maynard, Caspar Lee, Markiplier, Zoella, Marcus Butler and of Conor, but he posts his covers on his channel, so I left him out in this category, he would have been on the first place if not.

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If any of you also love YouTube as much as me and want to talk about some of your or my or our favorite YouTubers, I’m here and looking forward to hearing from you. And as always, thanks for reading. x

My newest music obsession

Hola everyone.

Yep, I love music. And I need it in my life. Like, what would life be without music? Totally boring for sure (duh). So I try to bring as much music as I can in my life. I’m especially in love with Indie music from bands like Twenty One Pilots, Two Door Cinema Club or The 1975.

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And of course I’m also crazy about concerts and festivals. Last year I went to my first festival – Sziget festival in Budapest. And it totally took my breath away, I was starstruck. That’s probably the reason why I look out for music festivals every day, like a crazy detective looking for proofs for a case. And how could it be otherwise, I found it. I found the most perfect festival ever – Reading festival in the UK.

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It has literally the best lineup I’ve ever seen, with 6 of my favorite bands and Fall Out Boy as a headliner. Just to mention, I’d do A LOT of things just to finally see them live. Besides that I also saw a band that I knew a little from my Spotify mix. I knew I liked their kind of music, but I only knew one single song so I thought why not give it a try. And I wasn’t let down. So, I present to all of you amazing people out there, my new music aka band obsession – The Wombats.

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So far I’ve listened to about 25 songs and spent my last week listening to only their music and I’m speechless. To be honest, there’s literally not one song that doesn’t sound like heaven to my ears. Seriously. I didn’t even know that this was even possible. But apparently it was.

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I couldn’t be happier to have found that amazing band, every song is a gift for me, really. Their songs are full of life and happiness and they just make me totally happy. And besides that, the lyrics are amazing. Oh and one song is dedicated to the year 1996 which happens to be my year of birth, so thanks guys, I appreciate it. I can really just recommend the band and their music, so if any of you have share the same love as me for Indie music and cool bands, then please go and give them a try, you won’t regret it, I swear. I’ll also leave a link to my favorite song of them down below, so you can go and check it out.

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I would be really really happy to hear from some of you who either know the band or who have the same taste in music as me or who just want to talk. I’m here, always. Until then, have fun with The Wombats and thanks for reading. x

My favorite song: youtube.com

And the Oscar goes to…

Hola everyone.

First of all I need to say something… YES LEO, YEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!

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I bet pretty much all of you have noticed that Hollywood celebrated the annual Oscar Awards last week and therefore know that Leonardo DiCaprio FINALLY won his so well deserved Oscar as best actor for his role in The Revenant.

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I can’t say how happy I am for him. And overall, the Oscars are always a highlight of the year for me. This year, I watched the whole “show”, which means I stayed up until 6 am (stupid time difference). Me and two friends made a group on WhatsApp and texted the whole night and pretty much kept each other awake. And of course we betted who will win every time – I won most of the time.

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I think this year the show was special, because there were so many important topics and issues were raised. Chris Rock – the host of this years show – talked about racism and diversity, Lady Gaga made a tribute to all the people out there who were sexually assaulted and Leo talked about climate change in his speech. In my opinion it’s amazing that such important people in the film industry talk about those issues on a night like this instead off acting like everything is perfect. I really loved that.

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Apart from that I liked how they all made fun of each other. For example, when they showed a clip of The Revenant, they filmed parts of the audience afterwards and there was literally someone in a bear costume sitting in the audience – in the movie Leo fights a bear and I think kills him. All the little jokes showed that actors are really just like everyone else. They joke around, make fun of each other and are able to laugh about themselves, which is great.

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The highlights of the night were the two awards for the best actor and the best picture. As already mentioned, Leo FINALLY won. You could really feel how he was longing for that little golden guy and how everyone else wanted him to win. When he went up to the stage, everyone in the audience stood up and cheered for him like crazy. And it was so cute how Kate Winslet looked up at him when he held his speech. To be honest, why can’t they just date? Like, they are perfect for each other. Really.

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The last award of the night was the one for the best picture. I really really wanted the movie Spotlight to win, although literally everyone else said that The Revenant would win that one too. And then the moment came and Spotlight won. God, was I happy. Especially because of the topic the movie is about – sexual abuse by the church. I have to say I’m not really religious. I mean, I believe that there is something out there, like fate or destiny or guardian angels or whatever, but I never trusted people telling me that a man died, then rose again rom the dead, parted the sea and made a blind guy see again. That’s just something that I can’t believe, even if I want. But I know that there a lot of people out there who believe in all of that. Who worship the church and just shut their eyes from any scandals like sexual abuse. That’s why I think it’s amazing that a movie which is about that kind of topic won. I really can’t wait to watch it in the cinema.

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Overall, the Oscars were as amazing as always and although I was nearly dying of tiredness, it was totally worth it. I can really only recommend watching it if you can, it’s truly something special and a highlight for movie maniacs like me.

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If any of you want to chat a little bit about the Oscars or just movies at all, I’m here and happy to talk to you. Oh, and I’ll leave a link of both movies at the end of the post, so you go and check them out. And as always, thanks for reading. x

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Trailer:

The Revenant: youtube.com

Spotlight: youtube.com

xoxo, Gossip Girl

Hola everyone.

As you probably know I’m currently going to college. And in order to be able to do that I had to move and now I “live” in a dorm, which means no TV or anything. So, as you might guess already, I depend on my laptop. I can watch movies and TV shows over Sky Go and Amazon Prime, but no common TV programs. So, in order to not die of complete boredom I had to find a new show to watch. And I found it – Gossip Girl.

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I knew the show before, because like who doesn’t know it? But I didn’t know much about it, I just had the idea that it was a pretty superficial teenie drama series with nothing much that was valuable. But I love fashion, so out of boredom I just gave it a chance and clicked play. I think it was already January when I started.

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And guess what? I just finished the complete show yesterday – 6 seasons, 121 episodes in less than two months. I binge watched it every single day since I started and now I basically don’t know what to do with my life, seriously.

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I never thought that I would get so caught up in the show, I really didn’t. And now I completely love it. At the beginning I didn’t exactly enjoy it THAT much, I thought the whole bitchy superficial attitudes were dumb and I just watched it because I had nothing else. But then the characters started to develop and more and more complex  small stories began to build up and I liked it more and more. That’s also the point why I fell in love with. At the beginning all of the characters seemed so unreal to me, but then the whole show came to life and the characters with it.

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Personally, Blair and Chuck are my favorite characters. Their love story was the main reason why I continued to watch the series, I wanted to know if they will ever be able to be together or not. God, how much I cried because of them… And slowly Blair became my spirit animal – she’s strong, she fights for her love and her dreams, she believes in herself and she likes the person she is and let’s none stop her from doing that. Besides that, I’m pretty much completely in love with her Elie Saab wedding dress – I’ll leave a link to the picture down below. Overall, nearly every single outfit in the show is breathtaking. I know, someone like me could never afford one single dress they are wearing but would be a life without dreams?

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And my least favorite characters? To be honest, the longer I watched, the more I started to hate Serena. Like really hate. She just annoyed the hell out of me. At the beginning she seemed like the nice girl, but then I noticed who true the things were everyone else was saying about her. She basically got everything she wanted, she was fake at some point, she never had to take responsibility for anything she did and even when she hurt the people around her, they just all forgave her everything although she hardly ever forgave them. I don’t know, her attitude just annoyed me. And according to what I saw on the internet, Blair and Chuck are everyone’s favorite –  if you search for Gossip Girl on Tumblr, they are the ones appearing.

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But if I ignore that one fact, I have to say that I liked every single character, even Serena. Because they turned the show into the one it is now. I think, the more seasons I watched, the better did the show get. I especially loved the last three seasons as the stories got more and more complex. And I love the ending, when they finally reveal who Gossip Girl truly is.

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After all, I’m really really happy that I started the show. I had a certain prejudice, but I have to admit that I was totally wrong. I think, if you like fashion, complex love stories, friends basically ruining each others lives and then rescuing them again and of course New York City, then the show is perfect for you. I can only recommend it, really. And in honor of the series, I’m gonna end this post the same as the show…

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You know you love me. xoxo, Gossip Girl

Thanks for reading. x

Blair’s dress: polyvore.com

Another movie recommendation

Hola everyone.

As you all probably know by now, I’m totally in love with going to the cinema and watching as many amazing movies as possible. I basically live in my local cinema, to be honest.

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So, today I went out to see another movie – Concussion. First of all I need to tell you that I’m a huuuuge fan of movies that are based on a true story. I don’t know why, but knowing that the story you are watching on that screen and that you are living for those 2 hours truly happened changes literally everything. Every scene has so much more power, every event that happens means so much more, it just pushes the whole movie to a completely different level.

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And yeah, Concussion is based on a true story. So, what’s the movie about?

Concussion is all about Dr. Bennet Omalu (Will Smith), a Nigerian forensic pathologist, who discovers a special brain damage called chronic traumatic encephalopathy – short CTE –  which professional football players suffer and in the movie also die and commit suicide from. Of course we wants to tell the world about his discovery, but the National Football League (NFL) tries its hardest to stop him from doing that. And of course the inevitable can’t be prevented and it comes to a fight between the doctor, who just wants to tell the truth, and the million dollar company, which would do everything to protect their so beloved sport.

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Overall, I’m sure Concussion is one of the best movies of 2016. Will Smith totally rocks his role and I couldn’t be happier to have him back on the big screen – I always had the opinion that Will is one of the best actors out there. Apart from that, the story is highly interesting. I’m sure you all know those moments when you’re sitting in the cinema and watching a movie but suddenly you completely lose every attention and can’t concentrate on the movie anymore. At least I know that too well. But this time, that never happened. In fact, I could’t get enough of it, I soaked up every small detail of the story, like a sponge.

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The whole concept of the movie is amazing from the beginning until the very end. From the start you sympathize with Dr. Bennet, the kinda weird, but cute, doctor, who speaks with his “patients” – dead people, ofc – in order to find out what happened to them. And then you just get completely caught up in the fight between the truth and the lies.

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So, in conclusion, I can only recommend that movie with all of my heart and my love for movies. If any of you get the chance to watch the movie in the cinema in the next few weeks, trust me and go and watch it – I’ll leave the link for trailer down below. If you like movies with some sort of dramatic aspect and movies which are based on a true story, this one is the perfect pick for you. So, have fun with the movie and as always, thanks for reading. x

Trailer: youtube.com